My Wife’s Name is Diane

Mr. and Mrs David Jackson

Today I'm playing snippets from my wedding to the lovely Diane (formerly known as “the Nurse”).  The wedding day is a bit of a blur. Everything went off without too much stress. The honeymoon stories will be following (much more entertaining than the wedding ceremony probably). So here is what you get:

The Vows

“the countess” (my 16 year old step-daughter) sings (and I play the guitar)

I sing a bit (again snippets).

Pronounced man and wife

Music

From the podsafe music network.  The Root Doctor “Me and My Wife.”

ROOT DOCTOR: Been A Long Time ComingThe music this episode is from Root Doctor from the podsafe music network. The song is called “Me and My Wife” and is available on CD, or as a Download at CDbaby. You can also find out more about the band at www.rootdoctorband.com/

Two Things to Avoid

Two Things To Avoid

Let's count the people who had had their lives take a turn for the worse after having a reality show about their life. If your show gets an audience, it seems to ruin your life.

Nick and Jessica Simpson (divorce)

Dave Navare and Carmen Electra (divorce)

Jack and Kate + 8 (c'mon – Divorce)

The Osbournes (Kids went to rehab).

Hulk Hogan (divorce)

Anna Nicole Smith (death)

And now MC Hammer is going to have a reality show. He is not well known for making good business choices in the past, and it appears he is still at it.

David Carradine Dies with a Noose Around His Junk

I'm not sure why a “Standard” orgasm is not enough for some people. This puzzles me. I mean,  I don't think I”ve ever uttered the phrase, “Man that orgasm was awful!” Auto-erotica is some funky way of having sex where you basically bring yourself to the point of orgasm and death at the same time.  So when someone comes to me and says, “Here is your noose,” I'm afraid I'm going to have to say, “I'm sorry this doesn't sound like a good idea.” There are alegations that he was wearing fishnets and a wig, that he had sex with family member(s). His fourth wife cited his feakiness in their divorce papers. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I'll just take the “same old sam old” orgasm. No need to super size me, or wrap a noose around my junk.

So This is Parenting?

So This is Parenting Album CoverI went to a concert and saw a small girl who was just F A T. I watched and she shoveled more pizza, pepsi, brownies, popcorn into her pie hole. When she went back for more, her Mother (finally) said no.

The girl cried.

Mom caved.

It was sad and hard to watch.

I had to deliver a punishment to my future step-son. It wasn't easy, but I know in the end this is what is needed to teach our children to follow rules, respect their parents, and that (unfortunately) you don't always get to do what you want to do.

Music “Step up” by Dona Oxford from the Podsafe Music Network (http://music.podshow.com ) check out Dona at www.donaoxford.com