How to Make Everything Cool

Everything is Cool

So I'm watching Jerry's Seinfeld's Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee on Netflix.  It's amusing. He gets these obscure cars and picks up celebrities and talks with them over coffee. He gets paid a lot of money for this.  They aren't earth shattering interviews, but the show is cool. I was watching trying to figure out what it was that made this show cool. Then it came to me.

There was jazz music in the background. Now watching a toothless waitress in some strange dinner is cool. Look! it's coffee in slow motion put to jazz! I've never seen coffee poured like this. It's like seeing coffee for the first time. Holy Cow.

Now when Jerry pulls up in a 1972 VW Van with rust to pick up Kramer, it's cool.

Then I thought about the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. Here is this boy face male pattern baldness at a very early age, being bullied by his friends, and disrespected by his dog. There isn't much of a story, then get him involved with a bizarre play that also has no story. Then Linus just takes control and start blurting out random scripture like a long lost Osteen and the Christmas Special comes to an end. Why do we watch every year? Becuase it's got one of the coolest soundtracks ever. Filled with some really cool jazz. I don't even like jazz.

It makes anything cool. I recently started using Advocare products (which have boosted my weight loss efforts) and while they have great products let's not kid ourselves they are a multilevel marketing business. It's Amway for fat people. So I signed up so I can discount on the products and I'm reading some really boring stuff.

Now lately I'm stuck. I keep throwing out my back, and that makes it hard to exercise. I'm losing weight (down 3 lbs in the last 30 days) but I keep throwing out my back from sneezing. Then when my back is out, it's hard to exercise. The lack of exercises makes me less healthy, which leaves me open to getting sick, which leads to me sneezing more. You see where this is headed. You know what makes exercising in your living room better? You guessed it.

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A Hallmark Christmas

You must run do not walk to your television listing and find the Hallmark Channel. They are running the same movie (disguised with a different name) over and over.

There will be lots of crying as Christmas is almost ruined, then, in the end, you find in the nick of time that Yes, Yes, (cheesy storyline) is true!

It will start people like Shelly Long (remember her from Cheers), Angie Dickinson (isn't she dead) and lots of people from sitcoms that you watched in the 80's and 90's that kind find work anyplace else and have no integrity.


I haven't been to a McDonald's in quite some time, and apparently, we've come a long way from the days of the paper hat and smock. Maybe it's just me flashing back to the days when I had to have my hair above my collar to keep my job.Maybe it's because I'm the only person on the planet who doesn't have a single tattoo, but some of the people who serve my food at the drive through are startling.

I drive up to the window to hand them my ATM card and they turn around and HOLY CRAP!

It looks like the dove face fist into a tackle box. I don't care that you have enough hardware in your face to pick up a shortwave radio stat, but when you're not ready for it, it can be quite a surprise.

Tonight I went to a Books a Million (BAM) and was surprised to see they had installed a Library in the coffee shop. There were at leat 10 people who are not “Skimming” a book to see if they should buy it, but starting at page 1 and going straight through. I swear one guy was in there the last time I was in this location. At some point, shouldn't you just buy the book and take it home? Why would you when you can buy a water and an oatmeal raisin cookie and come back tomorrow and finish up the book. One person even fell asleep in his chair.

It is one of the few places on earth that doesn't have 50 TV's on the wall.