Building A Better Dave » Laugh http://betterdave.com A funny look at relationships, marriage, divorce, love, sex, life, dating advice, and the weird thoughts that pop into Dave's head when he is sleep deprived. Never longer than 15 minutes, and guaranteed to make you laugh, cry, think, or groan. Life is too important to be taken seriously Sat, 12 May 2012 19:35:46 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 http://betterdave.com http://www.betterdave.com/images/favicon.ico Building A Better Dave A funny look at relationships, marriage, divorce, love, sex, life, dating advice, and the weird thoughts that pop into Dave's head when he is sleep deprived. Never longer than 15 minutes, and guaranteed to make you laugh, cry, think, or groan. Life is too important to be taken seriously David Jackson no David Jackson dave@betterdave.com dave@betterdave.com (David Jackson) 2006-2008 A funny look at relationships, marriage, divorce, love, sex, life, dating advice, and the weird thoughts that pop into Dave's head when he is sleep deprived. Never longer than 15 minutes, and guaranteed to make you laugh, cry, think, or groan. relationships, marriage, college, Dave, Jackson, life, stories, comedy Building A Better Dave » Laugh http://betterdave.com/wp-content/uploads/powerpress/betterdave144.jpg http://betterdave.com/category/laugh/ Half Way To Dead http://betterdave.com/2010/02/04/half-way-to-dead-2/ http://betterdave.com/2010/02/04/half-way-to-dead-2/#comments Fri, 05 Feb 2010 04:13:08 +0000 Dave http://m.podshow.com/media/7902/episodes/211726/betterdave-211726-02-04-2010.mp3

I will turn 45 in a little less than two weeks (Feb 8th). I’m starting to feel like Andy Rooney. Looking back at my life here are some thoughts:

Every phone had a chord on it. The phone RANG. There were no ring tones.

Movies were about $5 and if you didn’t see it at the movies you waited till it came on TV. There was no way to rewind or pause. If you had to do something you had to wait until a commercial came on.

Cars ran on leaded gasoline.

Speaking of Gasoline, the air was dirty and the sex was clean. Well, it wasn’t lethal anyway

I barely, I mean barely remember black and white TV.

Captain Kangaroo was cool. Mr. Rogers was not.

Ernie was my favorite muppet, but looking back I wonder if Burt was his “partner.”

Saturday mornings were spent with Bugs and Friends, and School house rock (educational TV, what a thought).  I would have a bowl of Captain Crunch, or Quisp, or Frankenberry.

I remember when we left the cool new “video game” PONG on without turning off the TV and it burned the final score into the screen. It was so much cooler than playing pinball.

I was the only kid in first grade who knew who Jimi Hendrix was when he died.

Nixon was president and Ali was champ, and you could catch “The Johnny Carson show” (as I called it) at 11:30 for a large part of my childhood. In my opinion, Ali is still the champ.

I remember listening to top 40 music on AM radio through the one speaker in dash board of my mom’s Plymouth duster. None of the words were bleeped out.

I remember hooking up a CB radio in my bedroom with the antenna going out the window. On occasion I could talk to my friend at the end of the street. (ancient version of text messaging?).

I road my bike everywhere. No hill was too tall. I’m not sure how, but my Mom didn’t seem to care that I was gone most of the day. There was no way to reach me. If I was going to be late, I would use a pay phone. I had to be home when the street lights came on.

To this day, I never understood how 8-track tape players got popular. They sounded awful, didn’t play right, and often fell apart.

I still have two containers of 45 records, and over 400 LPs. I haven’t listened to a single one in about 4 years. I still have a turn table, but nothing to plug it into (and yet I will not throw them away).

I am noticing that more and more of my sentences begin with “these kids of today…”

I remember life before Google when everyone had a set of encyclopedias.

While I vowed as a child to never grow up to be like my Dad, I hear more and more of his words coming out of my mouth directed at my children. He’s kind of cranky and will turn 80 in June. That scares the crap out of me.

While I use to be able to get away without wearing my glasses, things are really getting blurry now. The bad news unless I get surgery, my eyesight is only to get worse. That’s right: this is as good as its going to get.

When I was a kid, if I got pudgy a growth spurt would come along and take of it. I’m still in need of another growth spurt.

When I was a kid the word “sucks” was a curse word (it insinuated oral sex).

There was no attention deficit, and ADHD, and ADXKYMGT (etc) kids. If you were hyper, you got detentions. If you continued, you got paddled. My ninth grade Algebra teacher flung  an eraser at a student who was sleeping in class. There were no guns, no metal detectors, and in general we all attempted to pay attention.

When I was in school there was honor roll (GPA 3.5 and above) and Merit Roll (GPA 3.0 – 3.5). Today there is no Merit Roll, and the honor Roll is 3.0 and above. And yet people want to argue about the “dumbing of America.” We also kept score. There was a loser and a winner. Both experiences had lessons to be learned.

A dirty fight in high school was if someone brought a bat. It only happened once, and we were all so shocked it never happened again.

I remember at McDonald’s when I graduated from the hamburger, and could actually eat a Big Mac. There were no super sizes. I think there were small and large fries. No one would even think about eating two big macs in one sitting. We would eat McDonald’s every Thursday before Mom went bowling. I enjoyed dunking my fries in my milk shake. Today if I eat a big mac, I spend the next hour clearing my throat and feeling awful.

There might have been one person who got pregnant (we understood the concept of a condom, and feared disappointing our parents). Now there are day cares at the high schools. Girls are congratulated when they get pregnant at age 16, and told “you’re are so lucky.”

I have seen parenting traded in for friendship. I have also seen children with fewer manners, less respect for adults, and a general shrinking of the time when children are “innocent.” My parents dragged me to church. I didn’t always want to go, but I’m glad they did. I never would’ve survived my Mother’s Death without my faith. There are no teenagers at my church because the parents want to be “friends” with their kids, and they let them call the shots.

I knew all my neighbors growing up. I can’t name a single neighbor on my street. That’s sad.

I have seen Americans grow larger (myself included). When I was 25, “That was the year” that I was going to get in shape. When I was 30, THAT “Was the year” I was going to get in shape. Well I’m turning 45 in 12 days (February 8th) and THIS IS THE YEAR that I get in shape. You see as you get older your muscles shrink, and losing weight will only get harder – unless I take steps to keep the muscles I have and build new ones.

I’m turning 45, and my wife jokingly says I’m half way to dead. We’ve come along way. I’ve witnessed black and white TV to the space shuttle. While technology is supposed to enhance our lives, I feel nothing is more enhancing than having my family around a table at dinner. Nothing competes with someone saying “I love you.” I feel nothing recharges my batteries than my faith in God. I truly believe that freedom can come through the discipline of teaching our children right from wrong. That takes courage. They will hate you for about 10 years, but when they turn 25 and have children of their own they will thank you.

The first 45 years were good. The second 45 are going to be great (if I can just remember where I put my glasses).

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Building a Better Dave : Half Way To Dead

]]> http://betterdave.com/2010/02/04/half-way-to-dead-2/feed/ 0 I will turn 45 in a little less than two weeks (Feb 8th). I'm starting to feel like Andy Rooney. Looking back at my life here are some thoughts: Every phone had a chord on it. The phone RANG. There were no ring tones. (http://betterdave.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/davetombstone.png) I will turn 45 in a little less than two weeks (Feb 8th). I'm starting to feel like Andy Rooney. Looking back at my life here are some thoughts: Every phone had a chord on it. The phone RANG. There were no ring tones. Movies were about $5 and if you didn’t see it at the movies you waited till it came on TV. There was no way to rewind or pause. If you had to do something you had to wait until a commercial came on. Cars ran on leaded gasoline. Speaking of Gasoline, the air was dirty and the sex was clean. Well, it wasn’t lethal anyway I barely, I mean barely remember black and white TV. Captain Kangaroo was cool. Mr. Rogers was not. Ernie was my favorite muppet, but looking back I wonder if Burt was his “partner.” Saturday mornings were spent with Bugs and Friends, and School house rock (educational TV, what a thought).  I would have a bowl of Captain Crunch, or Quisp, or Frankenberry. I remember when we left the cool new “video game” PONG on without turning off the TV and it burned the final score into the screen. It was so much cooler than playing pinball. I was the only kid in first grade who knew who Jimi Hendrix was when he died. Nixon was president and Ali was champ, and you could catch “The Johnny Carson show” (as I called it) at 11:30 for a large part of my childhood. In my opinion, Ali is still the champ. I remember listening to top 40 music on AM radio through the one speaker in dash board of my mom’s Plymouth duster. None of the words were bleeped out. I remember hooking up a CB radio in my bedroom with the antenna going out the window. On occasion I could talk to my friend at the end of the street. (ancient version of text messaging?). I road my bike everywhere. No hill was too tall. I’m not sure how, but my Mom didn’t seem to care that I was gone most of the day. There was no way to reach me. If I was going to be late, I would use a pay phone. I had to be home when the street lights came on. To this day, I never understood how 8-track tape players got popular. They sounded awful, didn’t play right, and often fell apart. I still have two containers of 45 records, and over 400 LPs. I haven’t listened to a single one in about 4 years. I still have a turn table, but nothing to plug it into (and yet I will not throw them away). I am noticing that more and more of my sentences begin with “these kids of today…” I remember life before Google when everyone had a set of encyclopedias. While I vowed as a child to never grow up to be like my Dad, I hear more and more of his words coming out of my mouth directed at my children. He’s kind of cranky and will turn 80 in June. That scares the crap out of me. While I use to be able to get away without wearing my glasses, things are really getting blurry now. The bad news unless I get surgery, my eyesight is only to get worse. That’s right: this is as good as its going to get. When I was a kid, if I got pudgy a growth spurt would come along and take of it. I’m still in need of another growth spurt. When I was a kid the word “sucks” was a curse word (it insinuated oral sex). There was no attention deficit, and ADHD, and ADXKYMGT (etc) kids. If you were hyper, you got detentions. If you continued, you got paddled. My ninth grade Algebra teacher flung  an eraser at a student who was sleeping in class. There were no guns, no metal detectors, and in general we all attempted to pay attention. When I was in school there was honor roll (GPA 3.5 and above) and Merit Roll (GPA 3.0 - 3.5). Today there is no Merit Roll, and the honor Roll is 3.0 and above. And yet people want to argue about the "dumbing of America." We also kept score. There was a loser and a winner. Both experiences had lessons to be learned. A dirty fight in high school was if someone brought a bat. It only happened once, and we were all so shocked it never happened again. I remember at McDonald's when I graduated from the hamburger, David Jackson no Just What I Always Wanted http://betterdave.com/2010/01/20/just-what-i-always-wanted/ http://betterdave.com/2010/01/20/just-what-i-always-wanted/#comments Thu, 21 Jan 2010 04:40:09 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=281

Today I talk about a gift I got for Christmas. I’m going to be 45 in a few weeks, so I know I’m “Half way to dead.” However, what does it say if someone gets you the clapper? I mean the commercial shows some woman who sits up in bed and claps the light off. This woman looks, well, half way to dead.

Now the interesting thing is, the clapper is a great GIFT. I mean IT ROCKS. The sad thing is I ended up using it just like the old woman on the commercial. I have it hooked up to the light right next to my bed.

Dave turns 45 in a few weeks. Check out what he wants for his birthday

]]> http://betterdave.com/2010/01/20/just-what-i-always-wanted/feed/ 1 Christmas,gifts,The clapper Today I talk about a gift I got for Christmas. I'm going to be 45 in a few weeks, so I know I'm "Half way to dead." However, what does it say if someone gets you the clapper? I mean the commercial shows some woman who sits up in bed and claps the light... (http://betterdave.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/theclapper144.jpg) Today I talk about a gift I got for Christmas. I'm going to be 45 in a few weeks, so I know I'm "Half way to dead." However, what does it say if someone gets you the clapper (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000CGKLR?ie=UTF8&tag=babd-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0000CGKLR)? I mean the commercial shows some woman who sits up in bed and claps the light off. This woman looks, well, half way to dead. Now the interesting thing is, the clapper (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000CGKLR?ie=UTF8&tag=babd-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0000CGKLR) is a great GIFT. I mean IT ROCKS. The sad thing is I ended up using it just like the old woman on the commercial. I have it hooked up to the light right next to my bed. Dave turns 45 in a few weeks. Check out what he wants (http://amzn.com/w/1OKBWK9HQZVHF) for his birthday David Jackson no 9:01 Dave the Baptist http://betterdave.com/2009/10/29/dave-the-baptist/ http://betterdave.com/2009/10/29/dave-the-baptist/#comments Thu, 29 Oct 2009 18:57:08 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=174

Dave Jackson Baptist Minister in Training?????So where have I been? Well I got a job I hated, and now I have a job I love.  Then the dog ate a whole box of Trix, and then a WHOLE chocolate cake, and then decided to throw up on the couch. It’s been fun.

The road to happily ever after has taken a new strange twist. I’ve had an urge to become a pastor for about 4 years (I occasionally fill in for the pastor), and to make a long story short, when the pastor asked to me to think about becoming an interim pastor I said “yes.”

This means I get to go back to school to learn how to be a pastor, etc and I will be licensed to preach in my church, eventually Ohio, and from there its up to me.

]]> http://betterdave.com/2009/10/29/dave-the-baptist/feed/ 0 baptist,Dave Jackson ?????So where have I been? Well I got a job I hated, and now I have a job I love.  Then the dog ate a whole box of Trix, and then a WHOLE chocolate cake, and then decided to throw up on the couch. It's been fun. - (http://betterdave.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/baptist144.jpg)????? (http://www.videnov.com/)So where have I been? Well I got a job I hated, and now I have a job I love.  Then the dog ate a whole box of Trix, and then a WHOLE chocolate cake, and then decided to throw up on the couch. It's been fun. The road to happily ever after has taken a new strange twist. I've had an urge to become a pastor for about 4 years (I occasionally fill in for the pastor), and to make a long story short, when the pastor asked to me to think about becoming an interim pastor I said "yes." This means I get to go back to school to learn how to be a pastor, etc and I will be licensed to preach in my church, eventually Ohio, and from there its up to me. David Jackson no 12:57 Can I Help You? http://betterdave.com/2009/09/04/can-i-help-you/ http://betterdave.com/2009/09/04/can-i-help-you/#comments Fri, 04 Sep 2009 17:13:22 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=171

canihelpu144.jpg

Today I talk about the sport of having sex when you have children in the house.

I also relive July 1972 when the Stones came to town. I wasn’t allowed out because of the hippies.

Most people talk about the oldest child having very strict parents, the youngest having it too easy (and getting spoiled) and of course the middle child getting lost in the shuffle.  To me none of these apply. The child that has it worst is the child whose bedroom is next to Mom and Dad’s.

rubber_bowl.jpgMaybe I’m weird, but when I walk into a room with naked people I typically look down, say “I’m sorry” and leave immediately. I thought this was the standard response for most people. But then again, if you had something very important you might stay to make sure you made your point.

Today’s show features music from Apa State Mental and the song is “Eaten By Hippes” from the Podsafe Music Network.

]]> http://betterdave.com/2009/09/04/can-i-help-you/feed/ 0 children,Marriage,Sex Today I talk about the sport of having sex when you have children in the house. - I also relive July 1972 when the Stones came to town. I wasn't allowed out because of the hippies. - Most people talk about the oldest child having very strict parents, (http://www.betterdave.com/images/canihelpu144.jpg) Today I talk about the sport of having sex when you have children in the house. I also relive July 1972 when the Stones came to town. I wasn't allowed out because of the hippies. Most people talk about the oldest child having very strict parents, the youngest having it too easy (and getting spoiled) and of course the middle child getting lost in the shuffle.  To me none of these apply. The child that has it worst is the child whose bedroom is next to Mom and Dad's. (http://www.betterdave.com/images/rubber_bowl.jpg)Maybe I'm weird, but when I walk into a room with naked people I typically look down, say "I'm sorry" and leave immediately. I thought this was the standard response for most people. But then again, if you had something very important you might stay to make sure you made your point. Today's show features music from Apa State Mental (http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/apastatemental2) and the song is "Eaten By Hippes" from the Podsafe Music Network (http://music.podshow.com). David Jackson no 15:59 A Relaxing Float Down the River http://betterdave.com/2009/08/26/a-relaxing-float-down-the-river/ http://betterdave.com/2009/08/26/a-relaxing-float-down-the-river/#comments Thu, 27 Aug 2009 04:23:33 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=168

A relaxing Float Down the River

Today we finish up with stories from my honeymoon. This time we relive the “relaxing” trip we had riding inner tubes down the little river in Pigeon Forge TN. We had a great time. We have the scars to prove it.

We talk about scooter and his death defying dives, taking people out of the river, bees, deathly undertows, all for only $8 for the whole day.

]]> http://betterdave.com/2009/08/26/a-relaxing-float-down-the-river/feed/ 0 Honeymoon,Pigeon Forge,Tubing Today we finish up with stories from my honeymoon. This time we relive the "relaxing" trip we had riding inner tubes down the little river in Pigeon Forge TN. We had a great time. We have the scars to prove it. - (http://www.betterdave.com/images/tubing144.jpg) Today we finish up with stories from my honeymoon. This time we relive the "relaxing" trip we had riding inner tubes down the little river in Pigeon Forge TN. We had a great time. We have the scars to prove it. We talk about scooter and his death defying dives, taking people out of the river, bees, deathly undertows, all for only $8 for the whole day. David Jackson no 19:40 Dolly Greedy Parton http://betterdave.com/2009/08/06/dolly-greedy-parton/ http://betterdave.com/2009/08/06/dolly-greedy-parton/#comments Thu, 06 Aug 2009 20:40:23 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=156

Dolly Parton

According to an AARP article Dolly Parton is worth between 200 and 400 million dollars.  She has done some fine things with her money like she has donated millions of books for parents to read to their children. She created Dollywood and the Dixie Stampede in Pigeon Forge Tennessee which I’m sure brings in some great tax money for the area. She has had a music career that has outlasted many many artists.

HOWEVER

We went to Dollywood. It was nice. We saw some very beautiful bald eagles. Its interesting in that the typical stereotype of a southerner is a guy named Scooter who has the brains of an ice cube. This then makes you nervous when you hear “Keep you arms and hands inside the ride at all times yall.” When Scooter or Goober or Cletus has your life in his hands it makes you just a wee bit nervous. Another fun fact was  I forgot to take my motion sickness medicine and we were worried about me getting sick. We did a few water rides and were having fun. Nothing too scary. Then we got on this coaster that you could only see a small portion of it. That is becuase the majority of it was inside in the dark. I knew I was going to be in trouble. It whipped us around upside down and backwords, and about the time I thought I was going to hurl it stopped. I was flat on my back looking straight up. I looked at Diane and said, “this is bad I need this to be the end.” About that time it launched us straight up, and pretty much straight down as it blew fire at our face. A couple of more spins and we slammed to stop.

I gagged. I had no good options. If I threw up I had a choice of spewing on the teenagers beside me, hurling on my wife, or swallowing it. I closed my eyes and tried to go to my happy place. I could feel the sweat dripping down my forehead. The little boy turned to me and asked, “Are you ok?” without looking at him I said, “No.” The boy next to him let out a “Man that was awesome.” Diane frantically tried to get somebody’s attention to let me get off quick. He asked again, “Are you OK?” Again without looking at him I said, “No.”

Then the car in front of me emptied and the moved my car up and then stopped it suddenly. Here came the flood. I put my hand over my mouth to stop anything from coming out.  This was one of the grossest things I’ve ever had to do.

Diane again frantically tried to get someone’s attention. The car moved again, and my restraints were loosened. I ran to the nearest waste basket and for whatever reason had a dry heave. The good news bad news. The good news was I wasn’t doing the technicolor yawn. The bad news is I was dizzy, tired, sopping with sweat. We slowly made our way to the park exit. Thankfully we had hit all of the attractions.

We had some issues finding the exit only to find out that the only way to get out of the park is to go through the gift shop. OK, I know Dolly got this from Disney. Seriously though. I know you got this from Disney, but how much money do you need?

We later went to her restaurant the Dixie Stampede which was good entertainment. However they tell you to show up 90 minutes early before the show. It’s imperative that you show up 90 minutes before the show. So we did and they ushered us into this big cantina where you can get a bag of popcorn. Well let me change that, you can get a bag of salt with some popcorn thrown on top of it. Then she will sell you a soft drink (probably about 8 ounces once you take out the ice) in the shape of a boot for 4 bucks. When you exit the place they send you through a weird back hallway down some steps so (you guessed it) you can exit through the gift shop.

Dolly you are the Gene Simmons of country. In fact you look a little like Gene Simmons at this point. I know you say it takes a lot of money to look this cheap, but my God you are scaring the children.  I’m buying stock in botox.

]]> http://betterdave.com/2009/08/06/dolly-greedy-parton/feed/ 1 Dixie Stampede,Dolly Parton,Honeymoon Stories,Pigeon Forge According to an AARP article Dolly Parton is worth between 200 and 400 million dollars.  She has done some fine things with her money like she has donated millions of books for parents to read to their children. (http://www.betterdave.com/images/dolly144.jpg) According to an AARP article (http://www.aarpmagazine.org/entertainment/dolly_parton.html) Dolly Parton is worth between 200 and 400 million dollars.  She has done some fine things with her money like she has donated millions of books for parents to read to their children. She created Dollywood and the Dixie Stampede in Pigeon Forge Tennessee which I'm sure brings in some great tax money for the area. She has had a music career that has outlasted many many artists. HOWEVER We went to Dollywood. It was nice. We saw some very beautiful bald eagles. Its interesting in that the typical stereotype of a southerner is a guy named Scooter who has the brains of an ice cube. This then makes you nervous when you hear "Keep you arms and hands inside the ride at all times yall." When Scooter or Goober or Cletus has your life in his hands it makes you just a wee bit nervous. Another fun fact was  I forgot to take my motion sickness medicine and we were worried about me getting sick. We did a few water rides and were having fun. Nothing too scary. Then we got on this coaster that you could only see a small portion of it. That is becuase the majority of it was inside in the dark. I knew I was going to be in trouble. It whipped us around upside down and backwords, and about the time I thought I was going to hurl it stopped. I was flat on my back looking straight up. I looked at Diane and said, "this is bad I need this to be the end." About that time it launched us straight up, and pretty much straight down as it blew fire at our face. A couple of more spins and we slammed to stop. I gagged. I had no good options. If I threw up I had a choice of spewing on the teenagers beside me, hurling on my wife, or swallowing it. I closed my eyes and tried to go to my happy place. I could feel the sweat dripping down my forehead. The little boy turned to me and asked, "Are you ok?" without looking at him I said, "No." The boy next to him let out a "Man that was awesome." Diane frantically tried to get somebody's attention to let me get off quick. He asked again, "Are you OK?" Again without looking at him I said, "No." Then the car in front of me emptied and the moved my car up and then stopped it suddenly. Here came the flood. I put my hand over my mouth to stop anything from coming out.  This was one of the grossest things I've ever had to do. Diane again frantically tried to get someone's attention. The car moved again, and my restraints were loosened. I ran to the nearest waste basket and for whatever reason had a dry heave. The good news bad news. The good news was I wasn't doing the technicolor yawn. The bad news is I was dizzy, tired, sopping with sweat. We slowly made our way to the park exit. Thankfully we had hit all of the attractions. We had some issues finding the exit only to find out that the only way to get out of the park is to go through the gift shop. OK, I know Dolly got this from Disney. Seriously though. I know you got this from Disney, but how much money do you need? We later went to her restaurant the Dixie Stampede which was good entertainment. However they tell you to show up 90 minutes early before the show. It's imperative that you show up 90 minutes before the show. So we did and they ushered us into this big cantina where you can get a bag of popcorn. Well let me change that, you can get a bag of salt with some popcorn thrown on top of it. Then she will sell you a soft drink (probably about 8 ounces once you take out the ice) in the shape of a boot for 4 bucks. When you exit the place they send you through a weird back hallway down some steps so (you guessed it) you can exit through the gift shop. Dolly you are the Gene Simmons of country. In fact you look a little like Gene Simmons at this point. I know you say it takes a lot of money to look this cheap, but my God you are scaring the children.  I'm buying stock in botox. David Jackson no 13:26 Who Wants Pancakes? http://betterdave.com/2009/07/14/who-wants-pancakes/ http://betterdave.com/2009/07/14/who-wants-pancakes/#comments Tue, 14 Jul 2009 16:35:07 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=164

Pancake HouseDiane (my wife) and I  headed off for our honeymoon. Destination Pigeon Forge Tennessee. It was about a 9 hour drive and on the way we listened to the radio, and finally popped in an audio book about making your second marriage work.  It helped pass the time, and kept us alert. We got to Tennessee and when we got to Pigeon Forge it looked like a hillbilly version of the Vegas strip. Instead of spectacular hotels, you had a pancake house, and a pancake house, and a pancake house, and a pancake house, followed by, a pancake house. I’m not making this up. In a one mile stretch there were 5 pancake houses. I would also guess that on the other side of the pancake house was a “Barb B Cue” joint and on the other side of the pancake house was a fireworks place. With this in mind, if I ever meet someone with barbecue sauce on his shirt, maple syrup on his chin, and 9 fingers I’m going to guess he is from Pigeon Forge TN. On the other hand the Smokey mountains were breath taking. Seriously. Wow.

Cabin in Pigeon Forge TNLuckily Diane said, “We better find the cabin before it gets dark” as I wanted to get something to eat. The map from the cabin people’s website said, “do not use mapquest or they will send you on dirt roads.” We followed the map and I felt like I was on a roller coaster. I mean I know it’s a mountain, but the road went almost straight up, and had serious hair pin turns with no guard rail. If you were to slide off the road, you were going straight down. Needless to say this made Diane just a smidge nervous. It had me clutching the wheel with both hands as I would white knuckle it around a corner hoping there was more road under my tires. Our drive was an even steeper climb which was off the previous steep climb road. It also had another turn “blind” turn where you have no idea what you are turning on to. It had rained a bit before we showed up, and in some cases water would come out of the mountain and make the road wet. Kind of an “instant river” right in the road. Consequently, when I went to climb our driveway I spun my tires. Luckily, I made it up on the second attempt.

Our log cabin was gorgeous. It had a pool table, Jacuzzi, full kitchen, etc. It just oozed cozy. It also had water pressure that dripped out of the shower. Consequently, we spent a large amount of our first day relaxing in the hot tub waiting for Gomer to show up and fix the water pressure issue. Later that day we decided to go hiking and get up close and personal with Mother Nature.

Active Bear Area SignAfter talking with someone at the visitor center, we decided to go to Laurel Lake Water Fall trail. It was fairly short, paved, and sounded lovely. Now when we thin of bears we think of Yogi, Smokey, the Snuggle bear. All of these are our friends. They are funny, cute, cuddly. However, when we got to the trail, there was a sign that read “Dangers Bears Are Active In This Area Do Not Approach Them. Attacks on Humans Have Occurred inflicting serious injuries and death. Then under that sign was another sign. “DANGER Falling deaths have occurred closely control your children high vertical drop offs ahead and at falls area.” Well this adds a new slant to this lovely relaxing hike.

Then another thing dawns on us. This is the Smokey Mountains and any travel involves going up. A lot. Like turn the corner and there is another hill. And the sign was right. We had a small path about 5 feet wide (big enough for two people) and on the left we had the cliff of death and to the right we had a mountain that went straight up. Also the only straight road in Pigeon Forge is pancake alley. All other roads and paths curve and curve a lot . So we are hiking up the mountain and many times we are walking around rocks that are 8 to 10 feet tall. So you’re thinking if there is a bear on the other side of this rock, um, I’m SCREWED.

WaterfallThe level of awareness goes up tremendously when you are thinking “ACTIVE BEAR AREA.” Diane and both giggled as we admitted to looking at the path for paw prints. We made it to the falls. They were beautiful. We were amazed at the number of children who were not under control, and figured we would surely meet them at a restaurant later where they could scream bloody murder.

Later in the week we went to a little country church where they did church OLD School. I mean singing hymns with no organ out of a hymnal that I’m pretty sure Moses carried down with the 10 commandments. It was one of those fancy hymnals written on paper. But while we were there another couple who were visiting talked about how they too had gone hiking and indeed seen a bear.  To this one of the town folk also told us to “Watch out for snakes – Copperheads to be specific.”

To this Diane announced, “I’m done hiking.”

I’ll have more stories about the honeymoon. It was the best of times it was the not so best of times. I’ve been telling people it was memorable, and it was.

Music: (at the beginning)  Bluesgrass Album band the song is “Home Sweet Home.

]]> http://betterdave.com/2009/07/14/who-wants-pancakes/feed/ 0 Black Bear,Pancake House,Pigeon Forge,Smokey Mountains Diane (my wife) and I  headed off for our honeymoon. Destination Pigeon Forge Tennessee. It was about a 9 hour drive and on the way we listened to the radio, and finally popped in an audio book about making your second marriage work. (http://www.betterdave.com/images/podcast144.jpg)Diane (my wife) and I  headed off for our honeymoon. Destination Pigeon Forge Tennessee. It was about a 9 hour drive and on the way we listened to the radio, and finally popped in an audio book about making your second marriage work.  It helped pass the time, and kept us alert. We got to Tennessee and when we got to Pigeon Forge it looked like a hillbilly version of the Vegas strip. Instead of spectacular hotels, you had a pancake house, and a pancake house, and a pancake house, and a pancake house, followed by, a pancake house. I’m not making this up. In a one mile stretch there were 5 pancake houses. I would also guess that on the other side of the pancake house was a “Barb B Cue” joint and on the other side of the pancake house was a fireworks place. With this in mind, if I ever meet someone with barbecue sauce on his shirt, maple syrup on his chin, and 9 fingers I’m going to guess he is from Pigeon Forge TN. On the other hand the Smokey mountains were breath taking. Seriously. Wow. (http://www.betterdave.com/images/cabin.jpg)Luckily Diane said, “We better find the cabin before it gets dark” as I wanted to get something to eat. The map from the cabin people’s website said, “do not use mapquest or they will send you on dirt roads.” We followed the map and I felt like I was on a roller coaster. I mean I know it’s a mountain, but the road went almost straight up, and had serious hair pin turns with no guard rail. If you were to slide off the road, you were going straight down. Needless to say this made Diane just a smidge nervous. It had me clutching the wheel with both hands as I would white knuckle it around a corner hoping there was more road under my tires. Our drive was an even steeper climb which was off the previous steep climb road. It also had another turn “blind” turn where you have no idea what you are turning on to. It had rained a bit before we showed up, and in some cases water would come out of the mountain and make the road wet. Kind of an “instant river” right in the road. Consequently, when I went to climb our driveway I spun my tires. Luckily, I made it up on the second attempt. Our log cabin was gorgeous. It had a pool table, Jacuzzi, full kitchen, etc. It just oozed cozy. It also had water pressure that dripped out of the shower. Consequently, we spent a large amount of our first day relaxing in the hot tub waiting for Gomer to show up and fix the water pressure issue. Later that day we decided to go hiking and get up close and personal with Mother Nature. (http://www.betterdave.com/images/bearsign.jpg)After talking with someone at the visitor center, we decided to go to Laurel Lake Water Fall trail. It was fairly short, paved, and sounded lovely. Now when we thin of bears we think of Yogi, Smokey, the Snuggle bear. All of these are our friends. They are funny, cute, cuddly. However, when we got to the trail, there was a sign that read “Dangers Bears Are Active In This Area Do Not Approach Them. Attacks on Humans Have Occurred inflicting serious injuries and death. Then under that sign was another sign. “DANGER Falling deaths have occurred closely control your children high vertical drop offs ahead and at falls area.” Well this adds a new slant to this lovely relaxing hike. Then another thing dawns on us. This is the Smokey Mountains and any travel involves going up. A lot. Like turn the corner and there is another hill. And the sign was right. We had a small path about 5 feet wide (big enough for two people) and on the left we had the cliff of death and to the right we had a mountain that went straight up. Also the only straight road in Pigeon Forge is pancake alley. All other roads and paths curve and curve a lot . So we are hiking up the mountain and many times we are walking around rocks that are 8 to 10 feet tall. So you’re thinking if there is a bear on the other side of this rock, um, I’m SCREWED. David Jackson no 12:51 My Wife’s Name is Diane http://betterdave.com/2009/07/05/my-wifes-name-is-diane/ http://betterdave.com/2009/07/05/my-wifes-name-is-diane/#comments Sun, 05 Jul 2009 23:36:46 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=155

Mr. and Mrs David Jackson

Today I’m playing snippets from my wedding to the lovely Diane (formerly known as “the Nurse”).  The wedding day is a bit of a blur. Everything went off without too much stress. The honeymoon stories will be following (much more entertaining than the wedding ceremony probably). So here is what you get:

The Vows

“the countess” (my 16 year old step-daughter) sings (and I play the guitar)

I sing a bit (again snippets).

Pronounced man and wife

Music

From the podsafe music network.  The Root Doctor “Me and My Wife.”

ROOT DOCTOR: Been A Long Time ComingThe music this episode is from Root Doctor from the podsafe music network. The song is called “Me and My Wife” and is available on CD, or as a Download at CDbaby. You can also find out more about the band at www.rootdoctorband.com/

]]> http://betterdave.com/2009/07/05/my-wifes-name-is-diane/feed/ 1 Dave Jackson,wedding Today I'm playing snippets from my wedding to the lovely Diane (formerly known as "the Nurse").  The wedding day is a bit of a blur. Everything went off without too much stress. The honeymoon stories will be following (much more entertaining than the w... (http://www.betterdave.com/images/wife144.jpg) Today I'm playing snippets from my wedding to the lovely Diane (formerly known as "the Nurse").  The wedding day is a bit of a blur. Everything went off without too much stress. The honeymoon stories will be following (much more entertaining than the wedding ceremony probably). So here is what you get: The Vows "the countess" (my 16 year old step-daughter) sings (and I play the guitar) I sing a bit (again snippets). Pronounced man and wife Music From the podsafe music network.  The Root Doctor "Me and My Wife." (http://cdbaby.name/r/o/rootdoctor_small.jpg)The music this episode is from Root Doctor (http://cdbaby.com/cd/rootdoctor/from/jammindave) from the podsafe music network. The song is called "Me and My Wife" and is available on CD, or as a Download at CDbaby. You can also find out more about the band at www.rootdoctorband.com/ (http://www.rootdoctorband.com/) David Jackson no Surviving Your Wedding – A Guys Guide http://betterdave.com/2009/03/31/surviving-your-wedding-a-guys-guide/ http://betterdave.com/2009/03/31/surviving-your-wedding-a-guys-guide/#comments Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:42:55 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=148

Surviving Your Weddingonline casino

Here are some tips for future grooms as you prepare for your wedding:

If she says she wants a small wedding. marry her immediately do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars.

Saying things really romantic like, “I’m just excited to say I do and spend the rest of my life waking up next to you” have no effect. The marketing machines have hammered a large wedding into her head. You can’t win. No, I’m sorry. You CAN’T WIN.

Realize that while she wants you to be involved in the wedding, she doesn’t actually want your opinion.  Never the less, you need to be there to be “involved.”

Speaking of opinion, you probably don’t have one, especially when it comes to table center pieces, flowers, invitations. DO NOT say “I don’t care.” Instead ask which one she likes and agree with  her.

Also, never say things like “It’s YOUR wedding, it is ALWAYS OUR wedding. Not THE wedding, its OUR WEDDING.

Under no circumstances ever should you ever refer  to your wedding as a “Dog and Pony Show.” This will not go over well. :)

]]> http://betterdave.com/2009/03/31/surviving-your-wedding-a-guys-guide/feed/ 0 online casino - Here are some tips for future grooms as you prepare for your wedding: - If she says she wants a small wedding. marry her immediately do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars. - Saying things really romantic like, (http://www.betterdave.com/images/wedding144_1.jpg)online casino (http://online-casino-net.org/) Here are some tips for future grooms as you prepare for your wedding: If she says she wants a small wedding. marry her immediately do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars. Saying things really romantic like, "I'm just excited to say I do and spend the rest of my life waking up next to you" have no effect. The marketing machines have hammered a large wedding into her head. You can't win. No, I'm sorry. You CAN'T WIN. Realize that while she wants you to be involved in the wedding, she doesn't actually want your opinion.  Never the less, you need to be there to be "involved." Speaking of opinion, you probably don't have one, especially when it comes to table center pieces, flowers, invitations. DO NOT say "I don't care." Instead ask which one she likes and agree with  her. Also, never say things like "It's YOUR wedding, it is ALWAYS OUR wedding. Not THE wedding, its OUR WEDDING. Under no circumstances ever should you ever refer  to your wedding as a "Dog and Pony Show." This will not go over well. :) David Jackson no Mushmouth You’re Fired http://betterdave.com/2009/02/11/mushmouth-youre-fired/ http://betterdave.com/2009/02/11/mushmouth-youre-fired/#comments Wed, 11 Feb 2009 06:20:42 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=145

Mushmouth You're Fired

Today I talk about some horrible movie I had to watch for my education. It is some skit done by professors at the University of Akron. The fun part is one of the professors has a horrible speach issue. Now I don’t want to be insensitive, but this guy would be good to work the camera, the lights, hand out bulletins, but NOT have a speaking part where his answers are (literally) three minutes a piece.

Then throw on top of it one of my customers is releasing a hypnosis CD and I get to tweak the audio.

]]> http://betterdave.com/2009/02/11/mushmouth-youre-fired/feed/ 0 mushmouth Today I talk about some horrible movie I had to watch for my education. It is some skit done by professors at the University of Akron. The fun part is one of the professors has a horrible speach issue. Now I don't want to be insensitive, (http://www.betterdave.com/images/mushmouth144.jpg) Today I talk about some horrible movie I had to watch for my education. It is some skit done by professors at the University of Akron. The fun part is one of the professors has a horrible speach issue. Now I don't want to be insensitive, but this guy would be good to work the camera, the lights, hand out bulletins, but NOT have a speaking part where his answers are (literally) three minutes a piece. Then throw on top of it one of my customers is releasing a hypnosis CD and I get to tweak the audio. David Jackson no Sex, Drugs, and Christmas http://betterdave.com/2008/12/31/sex-drugs-and-christmas/ http://betterdave.com/2008/12/31/sex-drugs-and-christmas/#comments Wed, 31 Dec 2008 22:13:50 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=141

Sex Drugs and Christmas

Today I come to you with the demented slant on Christmas music. This was caused by hearing the same 14 songs over and over. I mean I love Andy Williams, but not for four weeks straight. It turns out that while rock music is about Sex Drugs and Rock n Roll, Christmas music is the same.

BONUS TOPIC:

I also took my fiance’s 15 year old daughter driving for the first time in an abandonded Target parking lot. It was just as exciting as an amusement park ride. She did great, and it will be fun helping her get her liscense.

2009 is going to be the year.

I’m going to graduate, get a job, and finally marry the nurse. This has potential to be the best year of my life. I’m also going to get into shape. Why not join me at www.logicalloss.com

Shopping? Go to www.supportthisshow.com

]]> http://betterdave.com/2008/12/31/sex-drugs-and-christmas/feed/ 0 Christmas,drgus,first time driver,Sex Today I come to you with the demented slant on Christmas music. This was caused by hearing the same 14 songs over and over. I mean I love Andy Williams, but not for four weeks straight. It turns out that while rock music is about Sex Drugs and Rock n R... (http://www.betterdave.com/images/sexdrugsxmas144.jpg) Today I come to you with the demented slant on Christmas music. This was caused by hearing the same 14 songs over and over. I mean I love Andy Williams, but not for four weeks straight. It turns out that while rock music is about Sex Drugs and Rock n Roll, Christmas music is the same. BONUS TOPIC: I also took my fiance's 15 year old daughter driving for the first time in an abandonded Target parking lot. It was just as exciting as an amusement park ride. She did great, and it will be fun helping her get her liscense. 2009 is going to be the year. I'm going to graduate, get a job, and finally marry the nurse. This has potential to be the best year of my life. I'm also going to get into shape. Why not join me at www.logicalloss.com (http://www.logicalloss.com) Shopping? Go to www.supportthisshow.com (http://www.supportthisshow.com) David Jackson no Greedy Santa http://betterdave.com/2008/12/08/greedy-santa/ http://betterdave.com/2008/12/08/greedy-santa/#comments Mon, 08 Dec 2008 20:25:43 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=140

Greedy SantaI was very surprised when I went to the mall and saw there was no line to sit with Santa. Santa looked pretty good (probably an out of work financial consultant), and I thought “Let’s get our picture taken.” It would be interesting to see how things have changed since you sat on his lap and had a polaroid taken. We asked, not the elf, but some college kid (or Santa has put into place “business casual” as the new dress code). We were told, “Here are the packages.” Packages? I just need a picture.

What a lovely greedy con job that if they wanted to they could make $166 an hour, BUT THAT’S NOT ENOUGH. Before we can make $166 an hour ($9.73 profit on a 5 minute CD) you need to spend $20 on a “Package.” That means Santa Will be making $357 an hour. Well here is what I say to you.

SCREW YOU SANTA!

SCREW YOU AND THE REINDEER YOU FLEW IN ON!

]]> http://betterdave.com/2008/12/08/greedy-santa/feed/ 0 Christmas,Dokken,Greed,Holiday Season,Santa I was very surprised when I went to the mall and saw there was no line to sit with Santa. Santa looked pretty good (probably an out of work financial consultant), and I thought "Let's get our picture taken. (http://www.betterdave.com/images/greedysanta144.jpg)I was very surprised when I went to the mall and saw there was no line to sit with Santa. Santa looked pretty good (probably an out of work financial consultant), and I thought "Let's get our picture taken." It would be interesting to see how things have changed since you sat on his lap and had a polaroid taken. We asked, not the elf, but some college kid (or Santa has put into place "business casual" as the new dress code). We were told, "Here are the packages." Packages? I just need a picture. What a lovely greedy con job that if they wanted to they could make $166 an hour, BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH. Before we can make $166 an hour ($9.73 profit on a 5 minute CD) you need to spend $20 on a "Package." That means Santa Will be making $357 an hour. Well here is what I say to you. SCREW YOU SANTA! SCREW YOU AND THE REINDEER YOU FLEW IN ON! David Jackson no Fixing the Credit Crisis http://betterdave.com/2008/10/01/fixing-the-credit-crisis/ http://betterdave.com/2008/10/01/fixing-the-credit-crisis/#comments Wed, 01 Oct 2008 05:47:58 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=134

My New Name is AIG

Fixing the Credit CrisisSo the US Government is broke. Here is a solution:

Instead of giving 85 billion to greedy pigs on wallstreet, why not give it to everyone who is an adult in the US? (301,000,000 people). Give the government 30% (so they get 25,500,000,000 back immediately). This would leave everyone with 297,500 to um. PAY OFF THEIR HOUSE, or their credit cards, or their sutdent loans, and nobody is in debt, and everyone wins. This includes the people who screwed up on Wall street, and the people fighting over seas.

Why can’t we do this? If we’re going to pay someone PAY ME!

Dates From Hell Show Launched

Dates From Hell Show ImageThe nurse and I have launched a podcast together. Its about finding love online (like we did – celebrating 2 years in about two weeks). If you have a dating horror story, or a success story call it in 866-97-DATES. We will be providing advice to avoid the pitfalls of finding your true love online. Check it out at www.datesfromhellshow.com

MUSIC:

Starewell – Broke and Out of Money courtesy of the Podsafe Music Network www.podsafemusicnetwork.com

Find them at www.starewell.com or buy their stuff at iTunes or get it DRM Free at amazon.com

Starewell - Broke and Out of Money

]]> http://betterdave.com/2008/10/01/fixing-the-credit-crisis/feed/ 0 broke and out of money,Credit Crisis,Presidential Election,Starewell,US Bail out My New Name is AIG So the US Government is broke. Here is a solution: - Instead of giving 85 billion to greedy pigs on wallstreet, why not give it to everyone who is an adult in the US? (301,000,000 people). Give the government 30% (so they get 25,500, My New Name is AIG (http://www.betterdave.com/images/credit144.jpg)So the US Government is broke. Here is a solution: Instead of giving 85 billion to greedy pigs on wallstreet, why not give it to everyone who is an adult in the US? (301,000,000 people). Give the government 30% (so they get 25,500,000,000 back immediately). This would leave everyone with 297,500 to um. PAY OFF THEIR HOUSE, or their credit cards, or their sutdent loans, and nobody is in debt, and everyone wins. This includes the people who screwed up on Wall street, and the people fighting over seas. Why can't we do this? If we're going to pay someone PAY ME! Dates From Hell Show Launched (http://www.betterdave.com/images/datesfromhell_144.jpg)The nurse and I have launched a podcast together. Its about finding love online (like we did - celebrating 2 years in about two weeks). If you have a dating horror story, or a success story call it in 866-97-DATES. We will be providing advice to avoid the pitfalls of finding your true love online. Check it out at www.datesfromhellshow.com (http://www.datesfromhellshow.com) MUSIC: Starewell - Broke and Out of Money (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B001CKTPRQ/mnp-20) courtesy of the Podsafe Music Network www.podsafemusicnetwork.com (http://www.podsafemusicnetwork.com) Find them at www.starewell.com (http://www.starewell.com) or buy their stuff at iTunes or get it DRM Free at amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B001CKX2W0/mnp-20) (http://ax.phobos.apple.com.edgesuite.net/images/badgeitunes61x15dark.gif) David Jackson no I’m No Jock http://betterdave.com/2008/09/19/im-no-jock/ http://betterdave.com/2008/09/19/im-no-jock/#comments Fri, 19 Sep 2008 12:33:43 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=133

I Hate Slider - Being a sports fan in Cleveland is a painful experience.

We have the Cleveland browns who start every year losing every game. Then they kick into gear and back their way into the play offs and lose in the first round.

We have our basketball team with Lebron James. He’s from Akron (thank God, now I can say something besides DEVO came out of Akron), and while he is phenomenal we get to the finals and lose.

Then we have the Indians. We have a mascot (its an Indian name “Chief Wahoo”). So when you go to the stadium to watch a game does Chief Wahoo entertain you? No. Who entertains you? Slider. What’s slider? I DON’T KNOW. All I know is he is ugly. He looks like Barney the dinosaur on heroin with a really bad rash. I just want him to fall. I am filled with glee when I can watch Slider get his ass kicked

The Ryder Cup

I heard a commercial for the Ryder cup. You know that thing where people from the USA and Europe play golf. You think it was a wrestling commercial. I listen and ask, “They are talking about golf right?” For a moment I thought they were going to beat each other with their clubs, but it turns out they are still just chasing the white ball.

Competitive Dude

I have’t played volleyball in about 15 years, but I attempted to a few weeks ago. I like to play sports for fun. It’s great exercise. But inevitably some guy will come along and start saying things like “Aw man!” when you miss a shot and take all the fun out of it. In this case I bounced a ball of my knuckles and “competitive due” comes over and lets me know that you can’t control the ball when you hit it off your knuckles. I never would’ve guess that as I chase the ball into the neighbors yard. Thanks competitive dude!

]]> http://betterdave.com/2008/09/19/im-no-jock/feed/ 0 Cleveland Indians,slider,sports fan,volleyball Being a sports fan in Cleveland is a painful experience. - We have the Cleveland browns who start every year losing every game. Then they kick into gear and back their way into the play offs and lose in the first round. - (http://www.betterdave.com/images/slider144.jpg)Being a sports fan in Cleveland is a painful experience. We have the Cleveland browns who start every year losing every game. Then they kick into gear and back their way into the play offs and lose in the first round. We have our basketball team with Lebron James. He's from Akron (thank God, now I can say something besides DEVO came out of Akron), and while he is phenomenal we get to the finals and lose. Then we have the Indians. We have a mascot (its an Indian name "Chief Wahoo"). So when you go to the stadium to watch a game does Chief Wahoo entertain you? No. Who entertains you? Slider. What's slider? I DON'T KNOW. All I know is he is ugly. He looks like Barney the dinosaur on heroin with a really bad rash. I just want him to fall. I am filled with glee when I can watch Slider get his ass kicked (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zo93CRhm0k) The Ryder Cup I heard a commercial for the Ryder cup. You know that thing where people from the USA and Europe play golf. You think it was a wrestling commercial. I listen and ask, "They are talking about golf right?" For a moment I thought they were going to beat each other with their clubs, but it turns out they are still just chasing the white ball. Competitive Dude I have't played volleyball in about 15 years, but I attempted to a few weeks ago. I like to play sports for fun. It's great exercise. But inevitably some guy will come along and start saying things like "Aw man!" when you miss a shot and take all the fun out of it. In this case I bounced a ball of my knuckles and "competitive due" comes over and lets me know that you can't control the ball when you hit it off your knuckles. I never would've guess that as I chase the ball into the neighbors yard. Thanks competitive dude! David Jackson no Flight of Ideas Friday http://betterdave.com/2008/08/22/flight-of-ideas-friday/ http://betterdave.com/2008/08/22/flight-of-ideas-friday/#comments Fri, 22 Aug 2008 19:03:29 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=130

Flight of Ideas Friday picture

This show originates from www.betterdave.com

 Words are fun. I want to know who gets to decide when a word is officially a word. I was at a Cleveland Indians game and the other team had a guy named Chone Figgins. (his full name is Desmond DeChone Figgins ). Why do we name the first poo of a baby meconium If it’s that special why don’t we put it in a jar and sell it? Look at meconium fix this broken coffee cup! Look it’s strong enough to pull this 18 wheel truck! Likewise why do we need to name certain body parts. Do we really need the word Taint? apparently the Taint used be called the perineum. Was that not good enough? Shouldn’t words be taken into committee to see if we really need the word? Be sure to tell your daughters to threaten a “kick to the taint” to pressing males. When they go “a what?” they can then run away.

I still hate Elvis. We all know Little Richard was the king of Rock and Roll and the Beatles and Elvis stole it all from him. I still hate Star Trek

John Lennon liked words…..and acid, but that’s another podcast.

Having a bad day? Too hot for you? Go grab a box fan and a towel. I’ve got the cure.

Do you have a cell phone? Don’t have time to exercise? Walk and Talk people! Walk and talk took me from a size 8 to a size two! Thank you walk and talk!

When I was growing up I used to take a sheet and a box fan and sleep in a blimp. Looking back this is a bad idea. Sounds like a great way to lose a finger.

]]> http://betterdave.com/2008/08/22/flight-of-ideas-friday/feed/ 0 Chone Figgins,meconium,taint,Words This show originates from www.betterdave.com -  Words are fun. I want to know who gets to decide when a word is officially a word. I was at a Cleveland Indians game and the other team had a guy named Chone Figgins. (http://www.betterdave.com/images/flightofideas144.jpg) This show originates from www.betterdave.com (http://www.betterdave.com/)  Words are fun. I want to know who gets to decide when a word is officially a word. I was at a Cleveland Indians game and the other team had a guy named Chone Figgins (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chone_Figgins). (his full name is Desmond DeChone Figgins ). Why do we name the first poo of a baby meconium (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meconium) If it's that special why don't we put it in a jar and sell it? Look at meconium fix this broken coffee cup! Look it's strong enough to pull this 18 wheel truck! Likewise why do we need to name certain body parts. Do we really need the word Taint (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taint_(slang))? apparently the Taint used be called the perineum. Was that not good enough? Shouldn't words be taken into committee to see if we really need the word? Be sure to tell your daughters to threaten a "kick to the taint" to pressing males. When they go "a what?" they can then run away. I still hate Elvis. We all know Little Richard was the king of Rock and Roll and the Beatles and Elvis stole it all from him. I still hate Star Trek John Lennon liked words.....and acid, but that's another podcast. Having a bad day? Too hot for you? Go grab a box fan and a towel. I've got the cure. Do you have a cell phone? Don't have time to exercise? Walk and Talk people! Walk and talk took me from a size 8 to a size two! Thank you walk and talk! When I was growing up I used to take a sheet and a box fan and sleep in a blimp. Looking back this is a bad idea. Sounds like a great way to lose a finger. David Jackson no Kids Are Like Electric Football http://betterdave.com/2008/06/04/kids-are-like-electric-football/ http://betterdave.com/2008/06/04/kids-are-like-electric-football/#comments Wed, 04 Jun 2008 09:37:53 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=122

Elelctric FootballToday I introduce you to my new Great Nephew. He sure is little. It really drove home the point of how absolutely life changing kids are. I can honestly say that at age 43 I’m glad I don’t have this kind of responsibility that is soooo 24/7.

I talk about how “The Countess” has made the “Show Choir.” This scared me as if she had not made it, I would’ve been there for the melt down, and I want the best for all of “The Nurses” kids (and I’m not sure I could take watching the meltdown from the front row).  Luckily I got to be part of the celebration.

One thing as I “Hang out” with children of all shapes and sizes, I can see where the roll of the parent really comes into play. Kids have their own personality. It sure seems like they are preprogrammed to go in a certain direction. It reminds me of “Electric Football.” A game my brother and I got for Christmas (pre-Atari). This game had some vibrating device on the bottom, and a flat (or supposed to be flat) surface that the players would stand on. You could adjust some stuff on the player, and point them in the direction you wanted to go. You had the perfect plan. Then you would turn on the electricity and half the team would fall over, another 20 percent would go in circles, and many of the player would end up in the corner driving straight into the wall because the surface wasn’t flat. As a parent (coach) you picked them back up and pointed them back in the direction you wanted to go, turn on the electricity and hope things turn out for the better.

Music “He’s My Baby!” from www.donaoxford.com (phenominal pianist/singer/songwriter). From the Podsafe Music Network at www.podsafemusicnetwork.com

]]> http://betterdave.com/2008/06/04/kids-are-like-electric-football/feed/ 0 Dona Oxford,Kids,Parenting Today I introduce you to my new Great Nephew. He sure is little. It really drove home the point of how absolutely life changing kids are. I can honestly say that at age 43 I'm glad I don't have this kind of responsibility that is soooo 24/7. - (http://www.betterdave.com/images/electricfootball144.png)Today I introduce you to my new Great Nephew. He sure is little. It really drove home the point of how absolutely life changing kids are. I can honestly say that at age 43 I'm glad I don't have this kind of responsibility that is soooo 24/7. I talk about how "The Countess" has made the "Show Choir." This scared me as if she had not made it, I would've been there for the melt down, and I want the best for all of "The Nurses" kids (and I'm not sure I could take watching the meltdown from the front row).  Luckily I got to be part of the celebration. One thing as I "Hang out" with children of all shapes and sizes, I can see where the roll of the parent really comes into play. Kids have their own personality. It sure seems like they are preprogrammed to go in a certain direction. It reminds me of "Electric Football." A game my brother and I got for Christmas (pre-Atari). This game had some vibrating device on the bottom, and a flat (or supposed to be flat) surface that the players would stand on. You could adjust some stuff on the player, and point them in the direction you wanted to go. You had the perfect plan. Then you would turn on the electricity and half the team would fall over, another 20 percent would go in circles, and many of the player would end up in the corner driving straight into the wall because the surface wasn't flat. As a parent (coach) you picked them back up and pointed them back in the direction you wanted to go, turn on the electricity and hope things turn out for the better. Music "He's My Baby!" from www.donaoxford.com (http://www.donaoxford.com) (phenominal pianist/singer/songwriter). From the Podsafe Music Network at www.podsafemusicnetwork.com (http://www.podsafemusicnetwork.com) David Jackson no Cereal Killer http://betterdave.com/2008/05/13/cereal-killer/ http://betterdave.com/2008/05/13/cereal-killer/#comments Wed, 14 May 2008 01:46:28 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=119

Cereal Killer - Breakfast Cereal RantToday’s show has the F word it. You’ve been warned.  

This is one of the “weird” episodes where I just wonder why things go into my mind at certain times. I happened to notice that Apple Jacks has no mascot while most children’s cereals have a mascot (Tony the Tiger, Lucky for Lucky Charms, The rabbit for Trix, Count Chocula, Frankenberry, Boo Berry, The Bee for Cherios).

It turns out there IS a mascot that was launched in 2005, but apprently it never caught on.

Does anyone remember Euell Gibbons and his crazy “Eat a pine cone” commercials for Grape Nuts. What marketing person thougth this made me want to eat this cereal.

Also did you know there was a fourth Crispy Brother? Roy. (OK, I stole that from David Letterman).

NEVER USE THE WORD CLUSTER when talking about food.

Brownies are the bastard son of the cake family. If we didn’t have the word “muffin” we would all be eating cup cakes for breakfast.

Music today by the band Gecko 3 www.gecko3.comfrom the Podsafe Music Network at www.podsafemusicnetwork.com????????

]]> http://betterdave.com/2008/05/13/cereal-killer/feed/ 0 Cereal Killer,Grape Nutes. Euell Gibbons Today's show has the F word it. You've been warned.   - This is one of the "weird" episodes where I just wonder why things go into my mind at certain times. I happened to notice that Apple Jacks has no mascot while most children's cereals have a masco... (http://www.betterdave.com/images/cereal144.png)Today's show has the F word it. You've been warned.   This is one of the "weird" episodes where I just wonder why things go into my mind at certain times. I happened to notice that Apple Jacks has no mascot while most children's cereals have a mascot (Tony the Tiger, Lucky for Lucky Charms, The rabbit for Trix, Count Chocula, Frankenberry, Boo Berry, The Bee for Cherios). It turns out there IS a mascot that was launched in 2005, but apprently it never caught on. Does anyone remember Euell Gibbons and his crazy "Eat a pine cone" commercials for Grape Nuts. What marketing person thougth this made me want to eat this cereal. Also did you know there was a fourth Crispy Brother? Roy. (OK, I stole that from David Letterman). NEVER USE THE WORD CLUSTER when talking about food. Brownies are the bastard son of the cake family. If we didn't have the word "muffin" we would all be eating cup cakes for breakfast. Music today by the band Gecko 3 www.gecko3.com (http://www.gecko3.com/)from the Podsafe Music Network at www.podsafemusicnetwork.com???????? (http://kvantservice.com/) David Jackson no It Ain’t Easy Being Green http://betterdave.com/2008/04/28/it-aint-easy-being-green/ http://betterdave.com/2008/04/28/it-aint-easy-being-green/#comments Mon, 28 Apr 2008 10:26:48 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=104

BEing GreenToday I tell the story of trying to help my niece as she is in labor. The bad news is Hospitals make me physically sick due to some psychological reason beyond my control.

It is very strange as my new great nephew was born on the same day my Mother died 19 years ago (in the same hospital). It made for day full of many emotions.

I also speak about how I regret not asking my Mother to quit smoking more frequently. Quiting smoking is very hard to do. My ex-wife tried every method and the only that worked was the quick keysystem (when she used it it was called something different).

This system slowly weens you off cigarettes using a computer that fits in your hand, You can but it at Amazon.com

]]> http://betterdave.com/2008/04/28/it-aint-easy-being-green/feed/ 0 hosptials make me sick,Quit key Today I tell the story of trying to help my niece as she is in labor. The bad news is Hospitals make me physically sick due to some psychological reason beyond my control. - It is very strange as my new great nephew was born on the same day my Mother ... (http://www.betterdave.com/images/beinggreen144.png)Today I tell the story of trying to help my niece as she is in labor. The bad news is Hospitals make me physically sick due to some psychological reason beyond my control. It is very strange as my new great nephew was born on the same day my Mother died 19 years ago (in the same hospital). It made for day full of many emotions. I also speak about how I regret not asking my Mother to quit smoking more frequently. Quiting smoking is very hard to do. My ex-wife tried every method and the only that worked was the quick key (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000EY3IUG/logical-20)system (when she used it it was called something different). This system slowly weens you off cigarettes using a computer that fits in your hand, You can but it at Amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000EY3IUG/logical-20) David Jackson no Hey It’s Your Birthday http://betterdave.com/2008/04/22/hey-its-your-birthday/ http://betterdave.com/2008/04/22/hey-its-your-birthday/#comments Tue, 22 Apr 2008 21:03:05 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=99

BirthdayI’ve noticed that when you go to just about ANY restaurant these days, if its someone’s birthday they bring the whole kitchen crew out to sing their “Hey It’s Your Birthday” song. I’ve also noticed that after about the 27th time of hearing this song the performance needs some tweaking.

I think this whole thing was started by a mexican food chain called Chi Chi’s (which went out of business after giving many people food poisoning). THANKS CHI CHI’S!

It may be a bit before my next episode. I’m behind in school (been a bad boy) and I need to get caught up. Keep those emails and comments coming! 888-563-3228

]]> http://betterdave.com/2008/04/22/hey-its-your-birthday/feed/ 0 Better Dave,birthday,Olive Garden I've noticed that when you go to just about ANY restaurant these days, if its someone's birthday they bring the whole kitchen crew out to sing their "Hey It's Your Birthday" song. I've also noticed that after about the 27th time of hearing this song th... (http://www.betterdave.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/birthday144.png)I've noticed that when you go to just about ANY restaurant these days, if its someone's birthday they bring the whole kitchen crew out to sing their "Hey It's Your Birthday" song. I've also noticed that after about the 27th time of hearing this song the performance needs some tweaking. I think this whole thing was started by a mexican food chain called Chi Chi's (which went out of business after giving many people food poisoning). THANKS CHI CHI'S! It may be a bit before my next episode. I'm behind in school (been a bad boy) and I need to get caught up. Keep those emails and comments coming! 888-563-3228 David Jackson no Over the Top Cosmo http://betterdave.com/2008/04/04/over-the-top-cosmo/ http://betterdave.com/2008/04/04/over-the-top-cosmo/#comments Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:16:55 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/2008/04/04/over-the-top-cosmo/

Cosmopolitan MagazineToday I talk about being in a house that is 75% percent women most of the
time (and how it makes toilet paper and endangered species).

Also, this weeks Cosmopolitan magazine has a headline that says,
“Be a genius in bed.” (or something like that). I mean sex has
been around for a while. Don’t you think we’ve got a pretty good
grip on it (no pun intended). Is there really anything 100% new?

So I talk about some of the things I expect to see if and when I read a cosmopolitan magazine.

]]> http://betterdave.com/2008/04/04/over-the-top-cosmo/feed/ 0 cosmopolitan magazine,Free podcast,Oprah,Sex,Women Today I talk about being in a house that is 75% percent women most of the time (and how it makes toilet paper and endangered species). - Also, this weeks Cosmopolitan magazine has a headline that says, "Be a genius in bed." (or something like that). (http://www.betterdave.com/images/cosmo144.png)Today I talk about being in a house that is 75% percent women most of the time (and how it makes toilet paper and endangered species). Also, this weeks Cosmopolitan magazine has a headline that says, "Be a genius in bed." (or something like that). I mean sex has been around for a while. Don't you think we've got a pretty good grip on it (no pun intended). Is there really anything 100% new? So I talk about some of the things I expect to see if and when I read a cosmopolitan magazine. David Jackson no _______ Don’t Fail Me Now http://betterdave.com/2008/01/02/_______-dont-fail-me-now/ http://betterdave.com/2008/01/02/_______-dont-fail-me-now/#comments Wed, 02 Jan 2008 05:45:37 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/2008/01/02/_______-dont-fail-me-now/

coochie144.pngBefore we even set foot in Fat Fish Blue in Downtown Cleveland, I knew what to expect. You see a large female soul singer (who happened to be African-American)  was going to be on stage. I told the nurse (my girlfriend), “This women will follow the large soul singer formula and sing about grinding it to a nub. 

We weren’t there 10-15 minutes and she starts a song about “Sleeping with one eye open becuase her man won’t leave her alone.” Your honor I rest my case. 

I also made up a couple of songs I might expect to hear including, “I think I done broke it off in me…”

Now it’s just my opinion. These seem like lovely people, but I’m not really into watching a 270+ lb woman grind on stage. It’s just not my thing.  

Speaking of great soul singers, I end the show with a cut from the Podsafe Music Network (music.podshow.com) featuring Shameka Copeland (www.alligatorrecords.com ) “Breakin”

]]> http://betterdave.com/2008/01/02/_______-dont-fail-me-now/feed/ 0 Blues Singer,Shameka Copeland,Soul Singers Before we even set foot in Fat Fish Blue in Downtown Cleveland, I knew what to expect. You see a large female soul singer (who happened to be African-American)  was going to be on stage. I told the nurse (my girlfriend), (http://www.betterdave.com/images/coochie144.png)Before we even set foot in Fat Fish Blue in Downtown Cleveland, I knew what to expect. You see a large female soul singer (who happened to be African-American)  was going to be on stage. I told the nurse (my girlfriend), "This women will follow the large soul singer formula and sing about grinding it to a nub.  We weren't there 10-15 minutes and she starts a song about "Sleeping with one eye open becuase her man won't leave her alone." Your honor I rest my case.  I also made up a couple of songs I might expect to hear including, "I think I done broke it off in me..." Now it's just my opinion. These seem like lovely people, but I'm not really into watching a 270+ lb woman grind on stage. It's just not my thing.   Speaking of great soul singers, I end the show with a cut from the Podsafe Music Network (music.podshow.com) featuring Shameka Copeland (www.alligatorrecords.com (http://www.alligatorrecords.com/) ) "Breakin" David Jackson no Merry Christmas, SMILE! http://betterdave.com/2007/12/22/merry-christmas-smile/ http://betterdave.com/2007/12/22/merry-christmas-smile/#comments Sun, 23 Dec 2007 01:32:09 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/2007/12/22/merry-christmas-smile/

Merry Christmas - SMILE!Yesterday I talkeds about Surprising your parents on Christmas. As I got older I took this to a new dimented level. I would talk pictures of my parents as they took their first steps out of their bedroom (yes that’s really my Dad). Nothing like facing a flashbulb at 6 in the morning.

Music: Jimmie Bratcher (www.jimmiebratcher.com ) from the Podsafe Music Network.  (Song “What Child is This”)

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/12/22/merry-christmas-smile/feed/ 0 Christmas,Family Stories,Holiday Pictures,Memories Yesterday I talkeds about Surprising your parents on Christmas. As I got older I took this to a new dimented level. I would talk pictures of my parents as they took their first steps out of their bedroom (yes that's really my Dad). (http://www.betterdave.com/images/merrychristmas144.png)Yesterday I talkeds about Surprising your parents on Christmas. As I got older I took this to a new dimented level. I would talk pictures of my parents as they took their first steps out of their bedroom (yes that's really my Dad). Nothing like facing a flashbulb at 6 in the morning. Music: Jimmie Bratcher (www.jimmiebratcher.com (http://www.jimmiebratcher.com/) ) from the Podsafe Music Network.  (Song "What Child is This") David Jackson no What I Always Wanted http://betterdave.com/2007/12/19/what-i-always-wanted/ http://betterdave.com/2007/12/19/what-i-always-wanted/#comments Wed, 19 Dec 2007 08:17:59 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/2007/12/20/what-i-always-wanted/

What I Always WantedOK, We all have stories of odd gifts. However, looking back these many of my “unique” gifts came from family members who lived out of town and saw me once or twice a year.  I could’ve won an Oscar for my performance “Best Faking of Appreciation” role.

MUSIC
What Child is This from Jimmie Bratcher (www.jimmirbratcher.com ) from the Podsafe Music Network (music.podshow.com )

This podcast originates at www.betterdave.com

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/12/19/what-i-always-wanted/feed/ 0 bad christmas gifts,Holiday stories OK, We all have stories of odd gifts. However, looking back these many of my "unique" gifts came from family members who lived out of town and saw me once or twice a year.  I could've won an Oscar for my performance "Best Faking of Appreciation" role. (http://www.betterdave.com/images/penguins144.png)OK, We all have stories of odd gifts. However, looking back these many of my "unique" gifts came from family members who lived out of town and saw me once or twice a year.  I could've won an Oscar for my performance "Best Faking of Appreciation" role. MUSIC What Child is This from Jimmie Bratcher (www.jimmirbratcher.com (http://www.jimmirbratcher.com/) ) from the Podsafe Music Network (music.podshow.com ) This podcast originates at www.betterdave.com (http://www.betterdave.com/) David Jackson no Archie the Giant Demonic Snowman http://betterdave.com/2007/12/18/archie-the-giant-demonic-snowman/ http://betterdave.com/2007/12/18/archie-the-giant-demonic-snowman/#comments Tue, 18 Dec 2007 09:11:27 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/2007/12/18/archie-the-giant-demonic-snowman/

Demonic Snowman - Better Dave

Welcome to day #6 of the “12 dave’s of Christmas”  

When Santa’s line got too long the genious staff of Chappel Hill Mall in Akron, Ohio decided to invent “Archie” this 3 story tall snowman to talk to kids (who would then relay all information to Santa).

Hmmm… back to the drawing board.

Music from Jimmie Bratcher from the Podsafe Music Network at music.podshow.com

This show originates from www.betterdave.com

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/12/18/archie-the-giant-demonic-snowman/feed/ 0 Demonic Snowman,Holiday stories Welcome to day #6 of the "12 dave's of Christmas"   - When Santa's line got too long the genious staff of Chappel Hill Mall in Akron, Ohio decided to invent "Archie" this 3 story tall snowman to talk to kids (who would then relay all information to Sa... (http://www.betterdave.com/images/snowman144.png) Welcome to day #6 of the "12 dave's of Christmas"   When Santa's line got too long the genious staff of Chappel Hill Mall in Akron, Ohio decided to invent "Archie" this 3 story tall snowman to talk to kids (who would then relay all information to Santa). Hmmm... back to the drawing board. Music from Jimmie Bratcher (http://www.jimmiebratcher.com) from the Podsafe Music Network at music.podshow.com This show originates from www.betterdave.com (http://www.betterdave.com/) David Jackson no Grandma’s Role Call http://betterdave.com/2007/12/18/grandmas-role-call/ http://betterdave.com/2007/12/18/grandmas-role-call/#comments Tue, 18 Dec 2007 05:39:42 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/2007/12/18/grandmas-role-call/

http://www.betterdave.com/ is the home page of the Podcast.

 Welcome to another installment of “The 12 Dave’s of Christmas”

Grandma's Role CallI talk about the spooky basement with the hand grenade, the shell, and the doorway to hell. A great place to play on Chrismas day.

Music: “what child is this” by Jimmie Bratcher from the Podsafe Music Network (www.jimmiebratcher.com and music.podshow.com )

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/12/18/grandmas-role-call/feed/ 0 Grandma,Holiday stories http://www.betterdave.com/ is the home page of the Podcast. -  Welcome to another installment of "The 12 Dave's of Christmas" - I talk about the spooky basement with the hand grenade, the shell, and the doorway to hell. http://www.betterdave.com/ (http://www.betterdave.com/) is the home page of the Podcast.  Welcome to another installment of "The 12 Dave's of Christmas" (http://www.betterdave.com/images/rollcall144.png)I talk about the spooky basement with the hand grenade, the shell, and the doorway to hell. A great place to play on Chrismas day. Music: "what child is this" by Jimmie Bratcher from the Podsafe Music Network (www.jimmiebratcher.com (http://www.jimmiebratcher.com/) and music.podshow.com ) David Jackson no Decorating the Christmas Bush http://betterdave.com/2007/12/16/decorating-the-christmas-bush/ http://betterdave.com/2007/12/16/decorating-the-christmas-bush/#comments Sun, 16 Dec 2007 23:29:50 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/2007/12/16/decorating-the-christmas-bush/

Christmas bushWhile my Grandmother was sharp as a tack into her 90′s, the woman could not pick out a Christmas tree to save her life.

One weekend every year my cousins and I would get together to “Decorate the Christmas Bush.” It had old lights, old ornaments, and an old toy soldier that we found to be quite fun.

Music “What Child is This” by Jimmie Bratcher from the Podsafe Music Network

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/12/16/decorating-the-christmas-bush/feed/ 0 Christmas Bush,Holiday stories While my Grandmother was sharp as a tack into her 90's, the woman could not pick out a Christmas tree to save her life. - One weekend every year my cousins and I would get together to "Decorate the Christmas Bush." It had old lights, old ornaments, (http://www.betterdave.com/images/christmasbush.png)While my Grandmother was sharp as a tack into her 90's, the woman could not pick out a Christmas tree to save her life. One weekend every year my cousins and I would get together to "Decorate the Christmas Bush." It had old lights, old ornaments, and an old toy soldier that we found to be quite fun. Music "What Child is This" by Jimmie Bratcher (http://www.jimmirbratcher.com) from the Podsafe Music Network (http://music%20.podshow.com/) David Jackson no No Bass Solos in Chritmas Music http://betterdave.com/2007/12/14/no-bass-solos-in-chritmas-music/ http://betterdave.com/2007/12/14/no-bass-solos-in-chritmas-music/#comments Fri, 14 Dec 2007 05:01:59 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/2007/12/14/no-bass-solos-in-chritmas-music/

Harry Belefonte Christmas Music
Today I talk about the excitement when Dad would bring home a new LP of Chrstmas music. For me I love warm, cozy music. The albums would have different artist but eventualyl someone would bust out the horn section and blast my head off. Happy Vegas Christmas – no thanks

My favorite Christmas album of all time is Harry Belefonte “To Wish you a Merry Christmas.” It’s so good it was remaster and released as “Harry Belefonte Christmas“with some addtional songs.

GEOFF SMITH: Christmas TunesMy Merry Christmas from Geoff Smith (also from PMN) Buy the CD at CDBaby . Opening “What Child is this” by Jimmie Bratcher.

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/12/14/no-bass-solos-in-chritmas-music/feed/ 0 bass solo,Christmas Music Today I talk about the excitement when Dad would bring home a new LP of Chrstmas music. For me I love warm, cozy music. The albums would have different artist but eventualyl someone would bust out the horn section and blast my head off. (http://www.betterdave.com/images/basssolo144.png) Today I talk about the excitement when Dad would bring home a new LP of Chrstmas music. For me I love warm, cozy music. The albums would have different artist but eventualyl someone would bust out the horn section and blast my head off. Happy Vegas Christmas - no thanks My favorite Christmas album of all time is Harry Belefonte "To Wish you a Merry Christmas." It's so good it was remaster and released as "Harry Belefonte Christmas"with some addtional songs. (http://cdbaby.name/g/e/geoffsmith2.jpg)My Merry Christmas from Geoff Smith (also from PMN (http://music.podshow.com)) Buy the CD at CDBaby (http://cdbaby.com/cd/geoffsmith2/from/jammindave) . Opening "What Child is this" by Jimmie Bratcher (http://www.jimmiebratcher.com). David Jackson no Grandpa’s Toboggan Shoot http://betterdave.com/2007/12/13/grandpas-toboggan-shoot/ http://betterdave.com/2007/12/13/grandpas-toboggan-shoot/#comments Fri, 14 Dec 2007 00:44:04 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/2007/12/13/grandpas-toboggan-shoot/

toboggan144.pngWelcome to the “12 Daves of Christmas” where over the next 12 days I will be relating Christmas themes memories. Today I relive the tale of almost decapitating my cousing Kevin.

Please note this picture is not my Granpa’s Hill (his was steeper).

Music
What Child Is this from Jimmie Bratcher from the Podsafe Music Network

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/12/13/grandpas-toboggan-shoot/feed/ 0 Christmas Stories,Jimmie Bratcher,taboggan Welcome to the "12 Daves of Christmas" where over the next 12 days I will be relating Christmas themes memories. Today I relive the tale of almost decapitating my cousing Kevin. - Please note this picture is not my Granpa's Hill (his was steeper). - (http://www.betterdave.com/images/toboggan144.png)Welcome to the "12 Daves of Christmas" where over the next 12 days I will be relating Christmas themes memories. Today I relive the tale of almost decapitating my cousing Kevin. Please note this picture is not my Granpa's Hill (his was steeper). Music What Child Is this from Jimmie Bratcher (http://www.jimmiebratcher.com) from the Podsafe Music Network (http://music.podshow.com) David Jackson no The Nurse Strikes Back http://betterdave.com/2007/12/12/the-nurse-strikes-back/ http://betterdave.com/2007/12/12/the-nurse-strikes-back/#comments Thu, 13 Dec 2007 00:52:30 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/2007/12/12/the-nurse-strikes-back/

angrynurse144.jpgIts been a while. I had to prepare for and then take my final exams and my first semester at Akron Univeristy is in the books. FINALLY.

Get ready for “12 Daves of Christimas” coming tomorrow!

Dave tells about a fun trip to eat at Friendly’s. Now we can’t complain about children in this restaturant, but if you can’t hear yourself think, it’s time to take some action and THE NURSE STIKES BACK.

MUSIC from the Podsafe Music Network (music.podshow.com )

Hello Operator www.hellooperatormusic.com “So Free” BUY THE EP AT CDBABY.COM

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/12/12/the-nurse-strikes-back/feed/ 0 nurse,Relationships,screaming children Its been a while. I had to prepare for and then take my final exams and my first semester at Akron Univeristy is in the books. FINALLY. - Get ready for "12 Daves of Christimas" coming tomorrow! - Dave tells about a fun trip to eat at Friendly's. (http://www.betterdave.com/images/angrynurse144.jpg)Its been a while. I had to prepare for and then take my final exams and my first semester at Akron Univeristy is in the books. FINALLY. Get ready for "12 Daves of Christimas" coming tomorrow! Dave tells about a fun trip to eat at Friendly's. Now we can't complain about children in this restaturant, but if you can't hear yourself think, it's time to take some action and THE NURSE STIKES BACK. MUSIC from the Podsafe Music Network (music.podshow.com ) Hello Operator www.hellooperatormusic.com (http://www.hellooperatormusic.com/) "So Free" BUY THE EP AT CDBABY.COM (http://cdbaby.com/cd/hellooperator/from/jammindave) David Jackson no THE FLEETWOOD MAC http://betterdave.com/2007/11/15/the-fleetwood-mac/ http://betterdave.com/2007/11/15/the-fleetwood-mac/#comments Thu, 15 Nov 2007 18:13:14 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/2007/11/15/the-fleetwood-mac/

NOT ENTIRELY WORK SAFE 

Fleetwood MacI’m amazed at the generation gap when it comes to college kids. I guess I was weird as I grew up listening to everything. I listen to Benny Goodman, Glen Miller, Harry Belefonte, The Beatles, etc. Today’s kids don’t know who Fleetwood Mac is.  Oh, I’m sorry I mean “The Fleetwood Mac.”

I HATE THE DOORS (I believe this is part II on this subject). I couldn’t do enough drugs for this to be good.

New Podcast “The Logical Weight Loss” podcast at www.logicalloss.com

Holiday shopping? www.supporthisshow.com

This show originates at www.betterdave.com

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/11/15/the-fleetwood-mac/feed/ 1 Classic Rock,Fleetwood Mac,The Doors NOT ENTIRELY WORK SAFE  - I'm amazed at the generation gap when it comes to college kids. I guess I was weird as I grew up listening to everything. I listen to Benny Goodman, Glen Miller, Harry Belefonte, The Beatles, etc. NOT ENTIRELY WORK SAFE  (http://www.betterdave.com/images/fleetwoodmac144.jpg)I'm amazed at the generation gap when it comes to college kids. I guess I was weird as I grew up listening to everything. I listen to Benny Goodman, Glen Miller, Harry Belefonte, The Beatles, etc. Today's kids don't know who Fleetwood Mac is.  Oh, I'm sorry I mean "The Fleetwood Mac." I HATE THE DOORS (I believe this is part II on this subject). I couldn't do enough drugs for this to be good. New Podcast "The Logical Weight Loss" podcast at www.logicalloss.com (http://www.logicalloss.com/) Holiday shopping? www.supporthisshow.com (http://www.supporthisshow.com/) This show originates at www.betterdave.com (http://www.betterdave.com/) David Jackson no Anybody Want to Get Mellow? http://betterdave.com/2007/10/23/52-anybody-want-to-get-mellow/ http://betterdave.com/2007/10/23/52-anybody-want-to-get-mellow/#comments Tue, 23 Oct 2007 08:41:20 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/2007/10/23/52-anybody-want-to-get-mellow/

NOT WORK SAFE

Ted NugentFor some people it was the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. While I grew up watching Glen Campbell, and Tom Jones on TV. I had my Bachman Turner Overdrive albums, but I walked into my brothers room one day and he had put on Wang Dang Sweet Poontang from the Album

Double Live Gonzo.

Realize there was no Guns N Roses, only James Taylor, Air Supply, Fleetwood Mac, Barry Manilow and Linda Ronstadt. This made Ted Nugent the coolest dude on the planet. His “zero” in the “number of drugs taken” colum is the reason I have never – NEVER taken a drug. It had nothing to do with letting my parents down. I didn’t want to let Unclde Ted down.

Thanks Ted. I’m sure you took alot of crap from Hendrix, Morrison, Bon Scott and all the other people who are now pushing daisies. You held your ground , you stood up for what you beleived in. You also took about four and a half minutes to write your lyrics on your new album.

Everybody sucks. I suck less.  – Ted Nugent

Music
Exerps from Double Live Gonzo 
Need You Bad From ted Nugent Weekend Warriors 

Buy it at iTunes
Wang Dang Sweet Poontang
  Ted Nugent - Double Live Gonzo! - Wang Dang Sweet Poontang

Double Live Gonzo
  Ted Nugent - Double Live Gonzo!

Need You Bad
  Ted Nugent - Weekend Warriors - Need You Bad

Weekend Warriors
  Ted Nugent - Weekend Warriors

Rot Gut – Ted Nugent and the Amboy Dukes
  Ted Nugent And The Amboy Dukes - Call of the Wild - Rot Gut

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/10/23/52-anybody-want-to-get-mellow/feed/ 0 Drug Free,Jimi Hendrix,Ted Nugent NOT WORK SAFE - For some people it was the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. While I grew up watching Glen Campbell, and Tom Jones on TV. I had my Bachman Turner Overdrive albums, but I walked into my brothers room one day and he had put on Wang Dang Sweet Poon... NOT WORK SAFE (http://www.betterdave.com/images/nugent144.jpg)For some people it was the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. While I grew up watching Glen Campbell, and Tom Jones on TV. I had my Bachman Turner Overdrive albums, but I walked into my brothers room one day and he had put on Wang Dang Sweet Poontang from the Album Double Live Gonzo. Realize there was no Guns N Roses, only James Taylor, Air Supply, Fleetwood Mac, Barry Manilow and Linda Ronstadt. This made Ted Nugent the coolest dude on the planet. His "zero" in the "number of drugs taken" colum is the reason I have never - NEVER taken a drug. It had nothing to do with letting my parents down. I didn't want to let Unclde Ted down. Thanks Ted. I'm sure you took alot of crap from Hendrix, Morrison, Bon Scott and all the other people who are now pushing daisies. You held your ground , you stood up for what you beleived in. You also took about four and a half minutes to write your lyrics on your new album. Everybody sucks. I suck less.  - Ted Nugent Music Exerps from Double Live Gonzo (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0000025C3/mnp-20)  Need You Bad From ted Nugent Weekend Warriors (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0000025E1/mnp-20)  Buy it at iTunes Wang Dang Sweet Poontang   (http://ax.phobos.apple.com.edgesuite.net/images/badgeitunes61x15dark.gif) Double Live Gonzo   (http://ax.phobos.apple.com.edgesuite.net/images/badgeitunes61x15dark.gif) Need You Bad   (http://ax.phobos.apple.com.edgesuite.net/images/badgeitunes61x15dark.gif) Weekend Warriors   (http://ax.phobos.apple.com.edgesuite.net/images/badgeitunes61x15dark.gif) Rot Gut - Ted Nugent and the Amboy Dukes   (http://ax.phobos.apple.com.edgesuite.net/images/badgeitunes61x15dark.gif) David Jackson no Rope a Dope http://betterdave.com/2007/10/08/dealing-with-menopause/ http://betterdave.com/2007/10/08/dealing-with-menopause/#comments Mon, 08 Oct 2007 10:23:47 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/2007/10/08/dealing-with-menopause/

Dave Jackson - Rope a DopeYou will not believe this episode as I take on the subject of Menopause and all the joys that it brings…

We also have some listener feedback from Wayne, Rich Palmer (who really liked the episode “Only in America“) and Brian Mundy (who really liked “The Truth about Teenage Boys“). Thanks for the comments guys. Keep em coming at 888-563-3228

Check out Muhammad Ali’s Auto Biography The Soul of a Butterfly: Reflections on Life’s Journey

P.S. I also know its October and Not August (I need a nap)…

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/10/08/dealing-with-menopause/feed/ 1 Muhammad Ali,Relationships You will not believe this episode as I take on the subject of Menopause and all the joys that it brings... - We also have some listener feedback from Wayne, Rich Palmer (who really liked the episode "Only in America") and Brian Mundy (who really like... (http://www.betterdave.com/images/ropeadope144.jpg)You will not believe this episode as I take on the subject of Menopause and all the joys that it brings... We also have some listener feedback from Wayne, Rich Palmer (http://www.richpalmer.com) (who really liked the episode "Only in America (http://betterdave.com/2007/09/13/49-only-in-america/)") and Brian Mundy (http://www.dimacast.com) (who really liked "The Truth about Teenage Boys (http://betterdave.com/2007/08/06/43-the-truth-about-teenage-boys/)"). Thanks for the comments guys. Keep em coming at 888-563-3228 Check out Muhammad Ali's Auto Biography The Soul of a Butterfly: Reflections on Life's Journey (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0743255690/thesugardaddies) P.S. I also know its October and Not August (I need a nap)... David Jackson no Only in America http://betterdave.com/2007/09/13/49-only-in-america/ http://betterdave.com/2007/09/13/49-only-in-america/#comments Fri, 14 Sep 2007 01:50:50 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/2007/09/13/49-only-in-america/

Jimmy Dean Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Sausage on a StickI heard about this and I thought, “This is a joke.” However, it is real.

Then when I read about it at www.dietfacts.com I was blown away.

 I mean if you feed this to your kids is it breakfast, a snack, or child abuse?

Only in America.

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/09/13/49-only-in-america/feed/ 0 fat americans,only in america I heard about this and I thought, "This is a joke." However, it is real. - Then when I read about it at www.dietfacts.com I was blown away. -  I mean if you feed this to your kids is it breakfast, a snack, or child abuse? - Only in America. (http://www.betterdave.com/images/pancakes144.jpg)I heard about this and I thought, "This is a joke." However, it is real. Then when I read about it at www.dietfacts.com (http://www.dietfacts.com) I was blown away.  I mean if you feed this to your kids is it breakfast, a snack, or child abuse? Only in America. David Jackson no Squeeze This… http://betterdave.com/2007/09/07/48-squeeze-this/ http://betterdave.com/2007/09/07/48-squeeze-this/#comments Fri, 07 Sep 2007 20:21:14 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/2007/09/07/48-squeeze-this/

Squeeze SpackleOK, I just saw a charmin commercial and we now have Soft and Strong toilet paper. STOP THE MADNESS. have you been down the forzen pizza isle lately?

I lost my organizer. Read that again.

The role of the lost and found.

Music from the podsafe music network at http://music.podshow.com

www.astepbehind.com “Back in Action”

Doing some shopping? Check out www.supportthisshow.com

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/09/07/48-squeeze-this/feed/ 0 squeeze bottles,squeeze ketchup OK, I just saw a charmin commercial and we now have Soft and Strong toilet paper. STOP THE MADNESS. have you been down the forzen pizza isle lately? - I lost my organizer. Read that again. - The role of the lost and found. - (http://www.betterdave.com/images/squeeze144.jpg)OK, I just saw a charmin commercial and we now have Soft and Strong toilet paper. STOP THE MADNESS. have you been down the forzen pizza isle lately? I lost my organizer. Read that again. The role of the lost and found. Music from the podsafe music network at http://music.podshow.com (http://music.podshow.com) www.astepbehind.com (http://www.astepbehind.com) "Back in Action" Doing some shopping? Check out www.supportthisshow.com (http://www.throwdaveabone.com) David Jackson no Where is Mrs Fresh? http://betterdave.com/2007/08/27/47-where-is-mrs-fresh/ http://betterdave.com/2007/08/27/47-where-is-mrs-fresh/#comments Mon, 27 Aug 2007 09:59:41 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=56

Where is Mrs Fresh?Dave talks about going to his new school that is 4 times as expensive. See www.betterdave.com/support And we listen to an episode of Dr Phil. Kind of…

Kids get good grades so you can get a scholorship. Parents start saving for college now. I’m unemployed and yet somehow still make too much money. I love our country.

Music from the IODA Promo Net http://promonet.iodalliance.com

Jonesen For Money 
from “Jonesen For Money”
by Deacon Jones
(Kent Blues)
Buy at iTunes Music Store
Stream from Rhapsody
More On This Album

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/08/27/47-where-is-mrs-fresh/feed/ 0 Pislbury Dougboy,Poppin Fresh Dave talks about going to his new school that is 4 times as expensive. See www.betterdave.com/support And we listen to an episode of Dr Phil. Kind of... - Kids get good grades so you can get a scholorship. Parents start saving for college now. (http://www.betterdave.com/images/fresh144.jpg)Dave talks about going to his new school that is 4 times as expensive. See www.betterdave.com/support (http://www.betterdave.com/support) And we listen to an episode of Dr Phil. Kind of... Kids get good grades so you can get a scholorship. Parents start saving for college now. I'm unemployed and yet somehow still make too much money. I love our country. Music from the IODA Promo Net http://promonet.iodalliance.com (http://promonet.iodalliance.com) (http://image.iodalliance.com/release/thumbs_60/168201-72.jpg)  from "Jonesen For Money" by Deacon Jones (http://redirect.iodalliance.com/artist.php?id=3824AE6D5CA22F14E404EC669E70F8E256B35CE47400E2591B13D1C3C4CC38B1) (Kent Blues) (http://redirect.iodalliance.com/label.php?id=B8B15538E035974789487CE64F380EE01C23A448F31A5681189E248CCB74E23C) (http://promonet.iodalliance.com/img/service_icon_4.gif) Buy at iTunes Music Store (http://redirect.iodalliance.com/buy_album.php?id=52FECDE9B9755BB330B42BC9E3CEFEE4DDAEA30DA377EB7DED8B1C3AB0053EF5C1AA1B9B91250C0A2CAE21FC8A002252) (http://promonet.iodalliance.com/img/service_icon_1.gif) Stream from Rhapsody (http://redirect.iodalliance.com/buy_album.php?id=52FECDE9B9755BB330B42BC9E3CEFEE42930B779136D1AD9DDD3756736486BA15A815A7753551EAA229151F36134D564) (http://promonet.iodalliance.com/img/icon_landing_page.gif) More On This Album (http://redirect.iodalliance.com/buy_album.php?id=52FECDE9B9755BB330B42BC9E3CEFEE4735DF939901BA62DEE225396E3C6C7B5367E9F3A8BEB64D21B4B73937412D648) David Jackson no Table For Two Please http://betterdave.com/2007/08/20/45-table-for-two-please/ http://betterdave.com/2007/08/20/45-table-for-two-please/#comments Mon, 20 Aug 2007 10:22:53 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=55

Romantic DinnerLook if your kid can’t read the menu – LEAVE THEM HOME.

That’s what Babysitters and grandparents are for!

I’m tired of dodging forks during my dinner. Besides your actions are increasing the divorce rate. Would it be too much to ask that you do NOT set your children on fire until you get home?

Is life over at 50? If you didn’t have sex when you were dating the first 10 years of marriage are bearable, so you have something to do. If you’re already discovered each other, then this crying child makes you cranky.

You chose to have the kid – accept the responsibility and STAY HOME.  There is a place for unruly children. It’s called the laundromat.

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/08/20/45-table-for-two-please/feed/ 0 Bad Parenting,Dining Eperiences,Screaming Kids Look if your kid can't read the menu - LEAVE THEM HOME. - That's what Babysitters and grandparents are for! - I'm tired of dodging forks during my dinner. Besides your actions are increasing the divorce rate. (http://www.betterdave.com/images/dinner144.jpg)Look if your kid can't read the menu - LEAVE THEM HOME. That's what Babysitters and grandparents are for! I'm tired of dodging forks during my dinner. Besides your actions are increasing the divorce rate. Would it be too much to ask that you do NOT set your children on fire until you get home? Is life over at 50? If you didn't have sex when you were dating the first 10 years of marriage are bearable, so you have something to do. If you're already discovered each other, then this crying child makes you cranky. You chose to have the kid - accept the responsibility and STAY HOME.  There is a place for unruly children. It's called the laundromat. David Jackson no Outlawing Broccoli http://betterdave.com/2007/07/19/42-outlawing-broccoli/ http://betterdave.com/2007/07/19/42-outlawing-broccoli/#comments Fri, 20 Jul 2007 04:54:41 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=51

OUtlawing BroccoliDave talks about having a “hero” moment with “The Senator” (the 10 year old son of his girlfriend). It was an amazing moment.

Music From the Podsafe Music Network

http://music.podshow.com

Superhero from Anthony Stauffer and Holy Smoke

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/07/19/42-outlawing-broccoli/feed/ 0 Broccolli,Family Stories Dave talks about having a "hero" moment with "The Senator" (the 10 year old son of his girlfriend). It was an amazing moment. - Music From the Podsafe Music Network - http://music.podshow.com - Superhero from Anthony Stauffer and Holy Smoke (http://www.betterdave.com/images/broccoli144.jpg)Dave talks about having a "hero" moment with "The Senator" (the 10 year old son of his girlfriend). It was an amazing moment. (http://cdbaby.name/a/s/astauffer_small.jpg)Music From the Podsafe Music Network http://music.podshow.com (http://music.podshow.com/) Superhero from Anthony Stauffer and Holy Smoke David Jackson no Wisdom From the Bathroom Wall http://betterdave.com/2007/06/21/38-wisdom-from-the-bathroom-wall/ http://betterdave.com/2007/06/21/38-wisdom-from-the-bathroom-wall/#comments Fri, 22 Jun 2007 04:22:55 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=47

I recently came across a very unique bathroom experience. You could witness the battle of good and evil all in one place.

I was amazed at the craftsmanship, and creativity

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/06/21/38-wisdom-from-the-bathroom-wall/feed/ 0 bathroom wall,Relationships,wisdom I recently came across a very unique bathroom experience. You could witness the battle of good and evil all in one place. - I was amazed at the craftsmanship, and creativity (http://www.betterdave.com/images/bathroom144.jpg)I recently came across a very unique bathroom experience. You could witness the battle of good and evil all in one place. I was amazed at the craftsmanship, and creativity David Jackson no Examaning Mating Habits http://betterdave.com/2007/06/18/37-examing-mating-habits/ http://betterdave.com/2007/06/18/37-examing-mating-habits/#comments Mon, 18 Jun 2007 19:42:04 +0000 Dave http://betterdave.com/?p=46

Hey I made it through my first weekend with the new band. Nothing like playing music you’ve never heard in front of 100 people.

Also the people in these clubs are WASTED.

Welcome to sleep deprivation theater as I’ve had four hours of sleep.

Music “Drunk Tonight” from the Blody Irish boys from the Podsafe Music Network
(http://music.podshow.com www.bloddyirishboys.com )

]]> http://betterdave.com/2007/06/18/37-examing-mating-habits/feed/ 0 dating,human,mating rituals,Relationships Hey I made it through my first weekend with the new band. Nothing like playing music you've never heard in front of 100 people. - Also the people in these clubs are WASTED. - Welcome to sleep deprivation theater as I've had four hours of sleep. - (http://www.betterdave.com/images/drunk144.jpg)Hey I made it through my first weekend with the new band. Nothing like playing music you've never heard in front of 100 people. Also the people in these clubs are WASTED. Welcome to sleep deprivation theater as I've had four hours of sleep. Music "Drunk Tonight" from the Blody Irish boys from the Podsafe Music Network (http://music.podshow.com (http://music.podshow.com/) www.bloddyirishboys.com (http://www.bloddyirishboys.com/) ) David Jackson no