The High Road is Covered in Goose Poop

It's been 5 months since I've documented my life. I'm trying to do this without throwing people under the bus, pointing fingers, cause in the end – it doesn't matter. I am now divorced. Pointing fingers will not change that, so I take the high road and wish the best for my (oh, good God – now SECOND) ex-wife.

So I'm living alone. Me and a cat. Bernie. I've never been a cat person, but Bernie is OK. There are times when its nice to just have another heartbeat under the roof.

I'm not looking for as pitty party. It is what it is. I feel we did what we could. We spend thousands on counseling. We knew what to do, but thanks to our childhoods, our experiences, we are wired the way we are, and we couldn't change. As a teacher, I find this fact hard to believe. I believe in constant improvement. In the end, I guess a leopard can't change it's spots, and a Zebra can't change it's stripes. At that pint you either accept what you have (even if it's not exactly what you want) or you move on.


Things I've Learned So Far

Geese are pretty, but the crap on everything. It's one thing thing to have a robin poop on your car. Its a whole other story when its a goose.

Toilet paper rolls last for MONTHS when there are no women in the house.

It's easier to change the littler box daily for a few minutes, then to do it once a week.

I am developing an unhealthy fear of the unknown. I'm worried I will blow my 50's worrying about my 70's.

Play the Cards You're Dealt

The choices I've made my life have got me to where I am. I can't change the past. I can only do the best with what is left.

50 and Falling Apart

I remember my Toyata Corolla. It was the first car I had with power windows and air conditioning. A little old lady (seriously) owned it before I did and I drove the crap out of my car. I remember when the windshield washer fluid pump went out. Then I got a crack in the windshield. These were all little things, but things were starting to wear out. The last straw was the door handle came off in my hand. Shortly after that, the engine started having serious issues. I took care of that car and it had a ton of miles on it when it rolled into the dealer. Looking back, most of the cars I have owned gave a warning shot. We do what we can, but there comes a point when it makes no sense to invest into a car that is going nowhere.

I turned 50 in February which means right now I'm closer to 51 than I am 50. In the past month I blew out three of my only pair of jeans. I'm at 223 today as I record this. The most I've ever weighed in 226. The biggest reason I gain weight is from time to time I just don't care. I'll worry about it tomorrow. If you look at the your calendar, someday is not on it.

I remember at 25 wanted to loser weight. Then 30. I did lose 20 lbs when I got divorced. But the weight I lost has now found me and it brought friends. So when I turned 50 I thought, “I need to lose weight.” The problem is the older you get the harder it gets. This is depressing. It really is.

I started taking blood pressure pills. There is a chink in the armor. I use to go up stairs two at a time. No lacing up my shoes in the morning is an Olympic event. Good God how did this happen? Oh that's right, 80% of my food comes through the drive through window. I got a call the other day that its been a year since my last eye exam. That exam lead to me getting glasses. Those glasses that are now not strong enough at times. Those glasses that are bi-focals. That was weird. Bi-focals are for old people.

One my best friends growing up is fighting Lukemia. It's like we are getting old. I'm starting to look more and more like my Dad and my Aunt is starting to look like my Grandma. It's weird, and I'm not a huge fan, and yet we have no control.

I heard an ad on the radio for this place call Slimgenics who gaurentee if you follow their program you will lose weight. I know its a scam. Well not really. I can design a plan that I would gaurentee to work. I just don't follow it. But I went in to sign up. I figured, “What the heck.” I got to hear the pitch, etc. They took my blood pressure. Then they took it again. Then they told me to take deep breaths and took it again.

You know how your blood pressure medicine ran out a while ago, and you were going to “Get around to getting a refill.” Then you called it in and the pharmacy never called you back. Remember that? Then you did it again, and again, each time being ignored. It's because the doctor needed to see me. Nobody called, and as it turns out its been over a year since I had my blood pressure medicine.

The folks at slimgenics won't take me into their program.

So I got no jeans. No blood pressure medicine, and no time to fix it. Actually I'm going to the doctor this coming week. Don't mess around with your blood pressure.

I'm 50 and I'm falling apart.

Do We Have to Become Our Parents?

Building a Better Dave

Today Dave returns to talk about turning 49 along with topics such as

Back Hair

Seeing your Dad when you look into the mirror.

My 8th Birthday

I swore I would never make a child of mine have  a birthday like m eighth. My Dad was a long distance truck driver and in 1973 there were no cell phones, and to make a long story short I didn't get a phone call from him on my birthday. It really bummed me out, and made me feel pretty invisible. I don't hold it against him, and he did call the next day.

Fast Forward to 2014

I was in Vegas for a podcasting convention. I remember when I woke up on the last day and had a reminder to call my step son. It was his 17th birthday. Its weird when you're three hours apart. When you eat, they are sleeping. When you're eating lunch, they are in school. This goes on and on. When I looked at my watch and saw it was 9:45 pm in Vegas meant it was 12:45 in Ohio. I had missed his birthday. I had a reason (I got lost in the time zones), but I couldn't believe I had done that.

Are we destined to turn into our parents? I don't know. I haven't seen my Dad in years cause the last time I went to see him the dimensia had robbed him of his memory of me (and he thought I was my brother). This makes one feel insignificant (even though you know it's not his fault). I'm thinking of going back to see him. It is weird. If you're Dad doesn't remember you, but he's alive, it's like YOU're dead. I'm going to take my wife and hope that she will help him remember me. I guess we'll see. I have a voice in my head that says I need to go and see him.Сео