Dick Clark’s Rotten Eve

New Years Eve Ball

Today I'm talking about my New Year's eve. I was watching Dick Clark's rockin' eve hosted by Ryan Seacrest. It was fairly horrible. The interesting thing is when I was growing up Dick Clark was for the younger people and Guy Lombardo was for the old folks. Now Dick Clark is for the older folk like me.

Well Dick had a stroke 2 years ago and apparently has not recovered a whole lot. They dragged him out last year so we could try to decipher what he was saying. This year I wondered, “Are they going to dust off Dick?” They did and he has had some work done on his face, and apparently has not been attending his speak therapy as regularly as he should. This saddens me. I don't want to be reminded that he is not the Dick Clark I remember.

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My Petco Advertisement

I wanted to let everyone know that as food was not covered on the petco discounts I have asked to be removed from that advertising campaign. Everyone I asked, “What do you buy at Petco?” answered, “Food.” Thanks to MEvio for letting me out of my contract. Nothing against Petco, but I didn't feel comfortable with this campaign.

Sex, Drugs, and Christmas

Sex Drugs and Christmas

Today I come to you with the demented slant on Christmas music. This was caused by hearing the same 14 songs over and over. I mean I love Andy Williams, but not for four weeks straight. It turns out that while rock music is about Sex Drugs and Rock n Roll, Christmas music is the same.

BONUS TOPIC:

I also took my fiance's 15 year old daughter driving for the first time in an abandonded Target parking lot. It was just as exciting as an amusement park ride. She did great, and it will be fun helping her get her liscense.

2009 is going to be the year.

I'm going to graduate, get a job, and finally marry the nurse. This has potential to be the best year of my life. I'm also going to get into shape. Why not join me at www.logicalloss.com

Shopping? Go to www.supportthisshow.com

Sex with Mom And Dad

Sex with Mom And Dad

I'm not making this up. MTV has a new show “Sex with Mom and Dad” where Daddies little skank has been knocking boots with her boyfriend without protection so we bring in Doctor Drew to get her to talk about the details of her sex life with her parents.

They are so proud that she's going to be a responsible slut.

I couldn't take it when the switch to the homosexual who dates “bad boys” and his Mom doesn't approve.

911 Cab Service

People are calling 911 to get an ambulance to take them to the corner drug store. They won't help themselves. This is an EMERGENCY number.

People Who Have Quit Life

I went to a school for high school children who “couldn't make it in a normal school.” They are from ages 12-22. There is a probation officer on site. This is funded by you and me via taxes. This is their last chance to get a diploma. All they have to do is show up and breathe. There are no tests, quizzes, OR GRADES. There are competencies. If you can do this, you pass. If you miss three days in a month, you are kicked out (but can sign up again next month).

This opened up my eyes and I just can't conceive the idea of quiting life, and expecting the world to do everything for them. I was the first kid in my family to graduate from college. I've paid for every dime of my college (both times except for a few grants). It's taken me longer, but I've done it. I didn't sit back, expect someone to do it for me. It's just sooooooo weird, and yet I saw it with my very own eyes.

I'm happy that there is this oportunity who do want to try. However, for the 25% (my number, just guessing) who are sleeping in class, we are paying for the school, and we are paying for their welfare. It's time for them to pick up the check. Worst case scenario they go to jail – and WE PAY FOR THAT TOO.

I don't have an answer. Hope is not a drink we can sell them, they drink it, and they're fine. It just doesn't happen. The bad news is the people who are working are paying for these people, and as the economy goes into the toilet we need to look at things to cut. If these people will not even try to help themselves then… I don't know. Do you?

Garbage In Garbage Out

Dunce Student PictureMy sister in law teaches second grade. Did you know the parents of students that get flunked can veto the flunk and send them into the next grade? It's true. Why? Because nobody wants to make children feel bad. There is no accountability. She had 17 out of 27 students last year that didn't speak english. These people couldn't be flunked, well, because they couldn't spell flunked. They were “ESL.”

So I am doing student teaching now. I'm with these kids 20 years in the future and the can't comprehend anything because they have not been pushed. There have been no consequences. They still feel good about themselves, but they are so far behind the rest of the world that it will take them a bit to get caught up and be ready. Where if we had told them they “didn't cut it” and they need to bring their learning skills “up a notch,” they may not be in this bind. Let me say something, these are NOT stupid people. It is a group of people that either their parents, their schools, etc have not held them accountable for their education.

The result is people in their 20s who are ending week 2 of school and haven't purchased the book yet. We have people who create and online account (login and password), and then can't remember the password. That's ok, we sent the password to their e-mail, and they couldn't remember the password to their email.

Again, these people are not stupid. They've just never been held accountable for their learning.

Mentioned in the this episode

Dave Ramsey “Total money Makeover

Let me know more about you. Go to www.hereiamdave.com

Get 10% off your order at pedmeds.com using the coupon code ” music ” and get free shipping on orders that are $39 or more.

Music “Volume Brothers” http://www.myspace.com/volumebrothers from the Podsafe Music Network. “Hey You, why are you so stupid?”

This show originates from http://www.betterdave.com

Cereal Killer

Cereal Killer - Breakfast Cereal RantToday's show has the F word it. You've been warned.  

This is one of the “weird” episodes where I just wonder why things go into my mind at certain times. I happened to notice that Apple Jacks has no mascot while most children's cereals have a mascot (Tony the Tiger, Lucky for Lucky Charms, The rabbit for Trix, Count Chocula, Frankenberry, Boo Berry, The Bee for Cherios).

It turns out there IS a mascot that was launched in 2005, but apprently it never caught on.

Does anyone remember Euell Gibbons and his crazy “Eat a pine cone” commercials for Grape Nuts. What marketing person thougth this made me want to eat this cereal.

Also did you know there was a fourth Crispy Brother? Roy. (OK, I stole that from David Letterman).

NEVER USE THE WORD CLUSTER when talking about food.

Brownies are the bastard son of the cake family. If we didn't have the word “muffin” we would all be eating cup cakes for breakfast.

Music today by the band Gecko 3 www.gecko3.comfrom the Podsafe Music Network at www.podsafemusicnetwork.com????????

Over the Top Cosmo

Cosmopolitan MagazineToday I talk about being in a house that is 75% percent women most of the
time (and how it makes toilet paper and endangered species).

Also, this weeks Cosmopolitan magazine has a headline that says,
“Be a genius in bed.” (or something like that). I mean sex has
been around for a while. Don't you think we've got a pretty good
grip on it (no pun intended). Is there really anything 100% new?

So I talk about some of the things I expect to see if and when I read a cosmopolitan magazine.

_______ Don’t Fail Me Now

coochie144.pngBefore we even set foot in Fat Fish Blue in Downtown Cleveland, I knew what to expect. You see a large female soul singer (who happened to be African-American)  was going to be on stage. I told the nurse (my girlfriend), “This women will follow the large soul singer formula and sing about grinding it to a nub. 

We weren't there 10-15 minutes and she starts a song about “Sleeping with one eye open becuase her man won't leave her alone.” Your honor I rest my case. 

I also made up a couple of songs I might expect to hear including, “I think I done broke it off in me…”

Now it's just my opinion. These seem like lovely people, but I'm not really into watching a 270+ lb woman grind on stage. It's just not my thing.  

Speaking of great soul singers, I end the show with a cut from the Podsafe Music Network (music.podshow.com) featuring Shameka Copeland (www.alligatorrecords.com ) “Breakin”