I’m No Jock

I Hate Slider - Being a sports fan in Cleveland is a painful experience.

We have the Cleveland browns who start every year losing every game. Then they kick into gear and back their way into the play offs and lose in the first round.

We have our basketball team with Lebron James. He's from Akron (thank God, now I can say something besides DEVO came out of Akron), and while he is phenomenal we get to the finals and lose.

Then we have the Indians. We have a mascot (its an Indian name “Chief Wahoo”). So when you go to the stadium to watch a game does Chief Wahoo entertain you? No. Who entertains you? Slider. What's slider? I DON'T KNOW. All I know is he is ugly. He looks like Barney the dinosaur on heroin with a really bad rash. I just want him to fall. I am filled with glee when I can watch Slider get his ass kicked

The Ryder Cup

I heard a commercial for the Ryder cup. You know that thing where people from the USA and Europe play golf. You think it was a wrestling commercial. I listen and ask, “They are talking about golf right?” For a moment I thought they were going to beat each other with their clubs, but it turns out they are still just chasing the white ball.

Competitive Dude

I have't played volleyball in about 15 years, but I attempted to a few weeks ago. I like to play sports for fun. It's great exercise. But inevitably some guy will come along and start saying things like “Aw man!” when you miss a shot and take all the fun out of it. In this case I bounced a ball of my knuckles and “competitive due” comes over and lets me know that you can't control the ball when you hit it off your knuckles. I never would've guess that as I chase the ball into the neighbors yard. Thanks competitive dude!

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