Your Kids Are Not A Weapon

Kids as a Weapon

Today I talk about something I keep on seeing. I keep seeing divorced parents using their children as a tool to get back at their ex.  This is truly amazing when I think about it. You are so focused on your own grudge, and your hate of your spouse (deserved or not) that you will knowingly put your kid in the crossfire between you and your ex.

Shame on You.

Isn't one of the biggest parts of being a parent putting your children first?

When you blow off visitation. When you say things that hurt. It hurts 10 times as much because you are their parent. If you keep on hurting and hurting your children you leave them no choice but to “Demote” you and remove the importance of your words. You are a parent on paper only.

When a child is forced to this action, there is no undo. When you lose time with your kids you can't get it back. They are only this age once, and when you miss it you can't get it back. There is no “undo” in life like there is on a computer program. You can't wash off the pain in a few seconds.

This same theory also applies to kids who totally disrespect their parents. If you continue to hurt your parent over and over, eventually they have to disconnect from you (and you are only their child on paper). They are left counting the days until you turn 18.

There is a Christina Aguilera song called “Hurt” and there is a line “I hurt myself by hurting you.” So when we hurt each other, and drive people out of our lives, we deprive ourselves of loving caring relationships.

Kids Are Like Electric Football

Today I introduce you to my new Great Nephew. He sure is little. It really drove home the point of how absolutely life-changing kids are. I can honestly say that at age 43 I'm glad I don't have this kind of responsibility that is soooo 24/7.

I talk about how “The Countess” has made the “Show Choir.” This scared me as if she had not made it, I would've been there for the meltdown, and I want the best for all of “The Nurses” kids (and I'm not sure I could take watching the meltdown from the front row).  Luckily I got to be part of the celebration.

One thing as I “Hang out” with children of all shapes and sizes, I can see where the role of the parent really comes into play. Kids have their own personality. It sure seems like they are preprogrammed to go in a certain direction. It reminds me of “Electric Football.” A game my brother and I got for Christmas (pre-Atari). This game had some vibrating device on the bottom and a flat (or supposed to be flat) surface that the players would stand on. You could adjust some stuff on the player, and point them in the direction you wanted to go. You had the perfect plan. Then you would turn on the electricity and half the team would fall over, another 20 percent would go in circles, and many of the players would end up in the corner driving straight into the wall because the surface wasn't flat. As a parent (coach) you picked them back up and pointed them back in the direction you wanted to go, turn on the electricity and hope things turn out for the better.

Music “He's My Baby!” from (phenomenal pianist/singer/songwriter). From the Podsafe Music Network at