Today I talk about something I keep on seeing. I keep seeing divorced parents using their children as a tool to get back at their ex. This is truly amazing when I think about it. You are so focused on your own grudge, and your hate of your spouse (deserved or not) that you will knowingly put your kid in the crossfire between you and your ex.
Shame on You.
Isn't one of the biggest parts of being a parent putting your children first?
When you blow off visitation. When you say things that hurt. It hurts 10 times as much because you are their parent. If you keep on hurting and hurting your children you leave them no choice but to “Demote” you and remove the importance of your words. You are a parent on paper only.
When a child is forced to this action, there is no undo. When you lose time with your kids you can't get it back. They are only this age once, and when you miss it you can't get it back. There is no “undo” in life like there is on a computer program. You can't wash off the pain in a few seconds.
This same theory also applies to kids who totally disrespect their parents. If you continue to hurt your parent over and over, eventually they have to disconnect from you (and you are only their child on paper). They are left counting the days until you turn 18.
There is a Christina Aguilera song called “Hurt” and there is a line “I hurt myself by hurting you.” So when we hurt each other, and drive people out of our lives, we deprive ourselves of loving caring relationships.