Today I'm going to do something stupid and talk about my family on my podcast. This involves moving my father to a long term health care. I live an hour north west of my father and brother. Instead of going with the location I found that was about half way between the two of us, I went with a location that was an additional 30 minutes in the wrong direction. This means that if I want to see my father I have to drive an hour and a half.
He called on Wednesday and asked for my opinion on moving Dad 90 minutes away from my house, and I said “that will not work, you are going in the wrong direction.” There are tons of places that are between the two of us, or worst case scenario, it if was by his house (that would be an hour away). So on Wednesday I explained how this was absolutely not going to work, and on Friday my brother (having power of attorney) moved him there anyway. This is not only further away from me, its further away from everyone in the city where my Dad lives. I'm not sure how I'm not supposed to be offended. I'm not sure how I'm not supposed to feel invisible, small, and insignificant. So for probably the first time in 30 years, I'm mad at my brother.
When I visited the “wonderful” site my Dad was moved to. It's a very nice place, but not that really different from the place that was 40 minutes from my house. The biggest difference was paint. It didn't look so much like a hospital. It had hospital beds, people in nurses uniforms, wheelchairs, etc, but the walls were beige and green instead of white. So I'm driving an additional 50 minutes for a fashion choice. Don't get me wrong, its a great facility with a talented loving staff – that just so happens to be 90 minutes from my house.
It's hard to stay mad at my brother (and I won't). You see:
My brother was the person was running behind balancing the bike the first time I rode without training wheels
My brother was the person who taught me the immortal phrase “lets go piss” which my mother did not find amusing coming from her four year old.
My brother showed how to play some cords on the guitar.
He was the person who helped me fix my first car.
Took me to my first concert
Bought me my first baseball glove
Was the person who insisted I move in with him when I got divorced/bankrupt
Said it was ok to continue living in his house while I got my second degree.
My brother stood by me at both my weddings
Is the only person on the planet who knows what its like to have Dad as a dad, and my sister as a sister.
He is the person who helped me when I got my first house, first car, first guitar, first girlfriend, first……
So I've learned my brother isn't perfect and he made a bad decision. Its partially my family's fault. When my Dad went into the hospital we should've been looking for a place for him to rehab, but we waited instead 9so we didn't have the luxury of time to find other alternatives).
So I've been here. I'm mad at my brother. So this is what it feels like? OK. Time to put it down. I will… eventually.
Music in this Episode
Mad at You by Joe jackson
No Respect – Extreme