Note: I originally released this episode, and (and this is why I hate talking about the present) I was asked to edit out a portion that didn't agree with some people's “truth.” If you for whatever reason you get this episode again (I don't think you should if you've already downloaded it in iTunes – it was only available for about an hour in its unedited version). With this in mind, I present this episode again where I still ask what the difference is between courage and stupidity.
I had looked forward to spending Christmas with my family as I had missed it last year. Things had deteriated, and after three days of trying eveything I knew I was asked to leave – and this time I didn't argue. While my family went to Christmas Eve service at our church, I made mutliple trips moving all of my possessions back to my sisters. It's not that we don't knowwhat to do, I'm starting to think that we are just not wired to bend that much. My wife has said everything I wanted to hear. The unfortunate fact is she did it after I left. She is stating that she won't hurt me, that she is deeply remorseful, and is a new person. She feels spirit filled, and she now knows God is the person that should make her feel whole – not her husband.
I started thinking about Courage and Stupidity. Both cases involve people not having (or overlooking) fear. Staying married during tough times takes courage, but on the other hand is it stupid? I know what God says. I know God hates divorce. and I also know that Paul states that nothing can separate us from the love of God. Should I stay or should I go as the clash sing. Do I run back into the burning building? Part of me thinks it would be cool to be able to turn around my marriage when everyone thinks I should throw in the towel. When everyone is telling us to pack it in. I know I love to help people. I know I love to break stereotypes. However, at this point I see those qualities as a BAD thing that can lead me into the burning building (courageous) covered in gasoline (stupid). I don't know.
For now I read the bible on a daily basis, and I pray to God for wisdom. I haven't really felt and answer. In the past I would just flip a coin. Not this time.